


Swap Feat

by RivetBucktail (orphan_account)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Android, Bodyswap, Friendship, Frustrated Peridot, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mysterious, Robot, Steven helps out, Stubborn, ancient, and it all works out in the end, because Steven helps her last, but she enjoys their time together the most
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26972071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/RivetBucktail
Summary: When Pearl and Steven bring home a mysterious ancient Gem artifact, things suddenly take an unexpected turn when the device performs an unusual magical feat and swaps the minds of three of the women in Steven’s life.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Swapped

**Author's Note:**

> Fanfiction written by request from Fanfiction.net's Awesomebug586. Written by Rivet Bucktail.
> 
> In this story, I explore the way that experiencing consciousness is alike for both humans and Gemstone People.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three of the women in Steven's life switch places unexpectedly after Pearl returns home with an ancient Gem artifact.

It was late one blustery, autumn afternoon in the waterfront town of Beach City, Delmarva. 

Pearl of the Crystal Gems sat on the couch of the Beach House’s living area and was meticulous in her current endeavor, focused deeply and hard at work. She was trying to examine the insides of a small robot that she had brought home with her earlier that day, picking and prodding and poking with tools at the device’s internal circuitry which she had uncovered. A bit frustrated at her lack of progress (headed by her own difficulty in understanding the device and getting the machine to work again), Pearl huffed and brushed aside a few strands of her short, pink hair that happened to stray into her field of vision. Pearl soon found company as Steven ambled into the Beach House from beyond the front door. 

“Hi, Pearl!” he said, greeting her with affection. 

“Oh, hello, Steven.” 

“What is that thing?” Steven asked. “What’re you doing with it?” 

There was hardly a time when Steven wasn’t curious about the ancient things that the Crystal Gems salvaged from parts unknown. 

“This device is a machine I recovered from a Gem-built Temple in another part of the planet,” said Pearl. “From the ancient manuscripts I read, I gather that the Gems of ancient times used devices like this to connect to one another and become closer as friends. The ancient texts say that they used devices like this one to ‘come to understand one another better’… but I’m not sure exactly how they went about doing that. It doesn’t seem to want to turn itself on no matter how much I prod about inside of it.” 

Steven came very close to the little apparatus. “It looks almost like one of Peridot’s Robonoids!” he exclaimed. He stared at the device fondly, as though if by looking upon it he might happen to cause it to come to life and suddenly mill about. 

Pearl continued to pick and prod at it with her engineer’s tools, but no matter what she tried to do to make its circuits come to life, the machine would not power on. 

“Pearl, maybe we should ask Peridot to help us get this thing to work!” Steven continued. “If it’s Gem technology, maybe she’d understand how to get it online again. Since she used to be a Homeworld technician, you know? And since it looks like a Robonoid, maybe it works like one too! Peridot knows all about Robonoids!” 

“Hm. Maybe… That would be helpful, I suppose, to have Peridot’s oversight on the matter. I just hope she doesn’t _make_ an oversight.” 

Steven giggled. 

_But neither knew that the machine was watching the both of them intently…_

****** 

At the Barn, Peridot examined the device with patience and the carefulness of an archeologist. She soon reached a conclusion. “Well, here’s something to start with,” she said and she beckoned for Pearl and Steven to come closer to take a look. She had exposed the little robot’s power source by opening a compartment in its back. 

“This is where it draws its energy from—this thing here,” she said and showed Steven and Pearl the robot’s battery. It was a Gem-like object that fit into a socket within the robot’s back compartment. 

“It’s about as thick as a small can of soup,” Steven said, “But it’s round!” 

“It’s a perfect sphere, actually,” Peridot corrected. “It’s like…” 

“It’s like a crystal ball!” Steven finished. 

_They didn’t know it, but the device was spying on Peridot. It was scanning her and recording data regarding her Gem type and her mass, and…_

“Well, yes,” Peridot spoke again, “It is a ball. And it’s also a crystal. So the phrase ‘crystal-ball’ does in fact describe it with accuracy.” 

“That’s right, Peridot, but a crystal ball is also…something else.” 

“Oh. It’s a _new_ something that exists on Earth that I’d never heard of before.” 

“Is there any way to get the machine to turn on?” Pearl interjected. “Like a power switch or something similar to that?” 

“U-umm,” Peridot stammered, “I don’t see anything like that here. Which is strange. How were these devices even used?” she wondered aloud. “Maybe… I think that maybe these things were controlled remotely, like Robonoids are able to be.” 

“So that’s it?” Pearl asked. “Even you, the trained technician, can’t figure out how to make it work…?” 

“No, I guess I can’t,” Peridot murmured. “I’m sorry, Pearl; Steven.” 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Steven told her. “It’s an ancient device that was created thousands of years before you were even formed. You shouldn’t feel bad because you don’t know how it works. It’s not your fault at all.” 

****** 

Pearl and Steven returned to the Crystal Temple via Warp Pad. 

“So how’d it go?” Amethyst asked as Pearl and Steven walked into the living area of the Beach House. Steven was holding the mysterious object and carried it to the loft and sat down beside his bed. He pet the small device gently and rubbed his hand across its surface. 

“As it turned out, even Peridot couldn’t figure out how to make it work,” Pearl replied. 

“Bummer,” said Amethyst. “I think Steven was the one who was looking forward the most to figuring out what that thing was for.” 

“I suppose he was,” Pearl said and she glanced over at the loft, where Steven sat with the little device nearby. “Don’t worry, Steven,” she said. “We’ll figure out how to make it turn on really soon! And from there, we can learn about what this device was used for.” 

“Yeah,” Steven murmured. 

Soon, though, Steven decided to head out. He was going into town for a favorite snack—a tasty, frosted donut. He told Pearl where he would be heading, and he left the Beach House with the small device tucked under his arm. 

****** 

The Big Donut was right after Thayer Street, on the street called Beach Access Drive. It was one of Steven’s favorite places to visit in town. 

He and Amethyst, his older sister, would make visits to Big Donut for a tasty snack—whichever baked good they were hankerin’ for then and there. Today Steven was by himself, though he supposed the machine he was carrying counted as company. At the store’s front, Steven opened the door and entered. 

“Hey there, Steven,” Sadie Miller greeted from her place behind the counter. She was the female cashier of Big Donut and a good friend of Steven’s. 

“Hi, Sadie,” he replied. “Is it just you today? Where’s Lars?” 

“Lars left early today,” she answered. “He should be back tomorrow.” 

“Oh. Today, I’m hungry for a tasty pair of baked-fried, baked goods! I’d like two donuts, please. Chocolate frosted.” 

“Sure thing, Steven!” Sadie said, and she retrieved his order from the rack behind the counter. She placed the donuts into a paper bag, and when she handed it to him she couldn’t help but notice the round ball Steven had tucked under his shoulder. 

_Unbeknownst to Steven, the device under his arm valiantly observed Sadie. It staked out her height, her approximate weight, and it was…_

“What’s that?” she asked. “It almost looks like a kettlebell, except… minus the handle.” 

“Oh, this? This is an ancient Gem device that Pearl recovered from a Gem Temple somewhere else on the planet. But we’re not sure exactly what it is, or what it’s supposed to do.” 

“Huh. Well, I hope you can figure out what it is soon, Steven.” 

“Thanks, Sadie.” 

Steven handed Sadie three bills and she gave him the change for his order. 

“Bye, Sadie,” Steven said, and he left Big Donut to head back to the Crystal Temple. 

****** 

“It’s bedtime now,” said Steven. 

Back at home, he set the ancient Gem device down beside his bed, and Steven made his way to the bathroom. He was in there and then out again, and Steven found his pajamas and changed clothes. 

The other Crystal Gems bid goodnight to Steven and disappeared through the Temple Gate. Steven soon closed his eyes, and he soon drifted off to sleep. 

And while he slept, the small Gem device opened its eyes… 

It hovered in the air. Three glowing spheres emerged from within its body. They circled the device, around and around… 

And the robot willed the spheres of energy to disperse and leave—two through the wall of the Beach House and one to the inner sanctums of the depths of the Crystal Temple. 

The third sphere found Pearl in her room. 

The second caught Peridot in the “loft” of the DeMayo family Barn. 

And the first sphere entered into the home of Sadie Miller… 

****** 

Steven awoke to a ruckus. 

When he checked, the ancient Gem robot was sitting where he left it the night before. He turned his head and looked, and saw Pearl below the loft, arguing with Garnet and Amethyst. 

“No, you clods!”she cried, “I’m PERIDOT!” 

“Hm?” Steven perked up. 

“This doesn’t make any sense! I was watching Camp Pining Hearts with Lapis last night, when suddenly something hit me, and now I’m in Pearl’s body!” She spoke like Pearl in Pearl’s own voice; she looked like Pearl, but yet… 

“Seriously, P,” Amethyst muttered, “The joke died the fourth time you said ‘ _I’m Peridot_ ’. Will you knock it off already?” 

“This is so unlike her...” said Garnet. “Pearl, what suddenly made you decide to pull a prank like this? You’re very obviously not Peridot.” 

“I _am!_ ” Pearl insisted. “I am too Peridot!” 

“What’s going on, guys?” Steven asked. He was out of the loft and in the living area with Garnet, Amethyst, and… Peridot? 

“Steven!” Pearl cried, “Steven, help!” 

Steven tilted his head. 

“I know I look like Pearl, but I’m really Peridot!” she continued. “Last night, a glowing ball of plasma touched my Gem and I lost consciousness… And when I woke up again, I was Pearl!” 

“A plasma ball is really different from a crystal ball…” Steven thought aloud. “But, that’s me getting distracted. What did it look like? And where did it come from?” 

“It was blue, and it looked like ball lightning…” she paused. “And that’s it, really… —I don’t remember anything after that.” 

“Hmm…” Steven was deep in thought. What could have caused this? 

“…You actually believe her, Steven?” Amethyst asked. “You really think she’s actually Peridot?” 

“She’s ivory like Pearl,” said Garnet, “And Peridot doesn’t know how to _shapeshift_. Even if Peridot could do that, this Pearl is the same color as Pearl is. She isn’t green.” 

“But even so,” said Steven, “Pearl wouldn’t lie about something like this. I really do think that she’s actually Peridot somehow. I’m taking her at her word.” 

“Oh, Steven!” “Peridot-Pearl” cried, and she embraced him. 

Steven chuckled and soon broke the hug. “Let’s try to figure out what happened so that we can get to the bottom of this,” he said. “So, to start with: Peridot, if you're Pearl, then what happened to your body and your Gem? If you're here, then where're ‘you’?” 

“I…I’m not sure,” she answered, 

Steven pressed his finger to his cheek. “…I’ve got it,” he said. “Let’s check the Barn.” 

****** 

“Lapis?” Steven called. He and the other three Crystal Gems—Garnet, Amethyst, and Peridot-in-Pearl’s-body had Warped to the DeMayo family barn. They still stood in the field beyond the barn structure. 

“Lapis!” he called again, and he walked toward the barn proper. “Are you here?” 

“Hi, Steven!” Lapis Lazuli called. She was in the outer “loft” of the barn, which was a pickup truck that she and Peridot had somehow lodged through the barn’s loft doors. 

“Lapis, hi!” Steven greeted. “We’re here because Peridot…somehow became Pearl. I wanted to know if Peridot’s… _body_ was still here.” 

“Oh, about that, actually…” Lapis began. “Something strange happened last night. This energy-thing touched Peridot and then came out of her… and then Peridot lost consciousness. I wanted to go and get you all and tell you what had happened… But then a few moments later, another ball of energy came… and went into her.” 

“What?” Steven cried. 

“I was too worried to leave her alone by herself, and I didn’t know what to do... So I stayed by her side all night long up until now,” Lapis finished. They made their way to the front door of the barn. 

“Oh, Lapis…” Steven murmured. 

There was groaning from inside the Barn. Lapis, Steven, and the other Gems rushed to see what made the sound. 

Lapis flew alongside them. “I think she’s waking up...!” she said. 

“You mean Peridot?” Steven asked. 

“Her, yes.” 

Inside the barn, Peridot’s body lay on a makeshift bed that Lapis had made from pillows and hay. She stirred and opened her eyes, and the first person she saw was Steven. 

“Steven?” Peridot’s body asked when her gaze met his eyes. 

“Umm…” Steven began, “Are you…Peridot?” 

“No… I’m Sadie. Why would you ask me that? …Is Peridot one of your Gem friends?” 

“You _are_ Peridot, though,” said Steven. “You’re…in her body.” 

“Sadie-Peridot” looked down at her hands, and at her body. She gave a start. 

“Steven!” she cried. “I'm green! All over! Is this normal, Steven?” she asked and looked over her form. She had gone from being completely still to darting around like a lizard. “There's NO way this is normal!” 

“Lizards can be green too,” Steven said. “ _Er_ , I got distracted again. …Sadie, what happened? Do you remember what happened before you ended up like this?” 

“I remember going to bed at home…” Sadie-Peridot replied. “I had fallen asleep, but something blue, and bright, and glowing appeared in my bedroom and woke me. …It went into me… And now, I’ve woken up like _this_ …” 

Steven nodded and tilted his head. “So now we know that, since Peridot is _Pearl_ , and Sadie is _Peridot_ , then Pearl must be…” 

****** 

Steven did his best to console Sadie-Peridot. And after he and the other Crystal Gems had spoken to her, he himself went alone to the Miller residence. He was looking for Pearl. 

Barbara Miller, Sadie’s mother, answered the door when he rang the bell. 

“Hi there, Steven,” she said. “What brings you here this fine day?” 

“H-hi, Mrs. Miller, but everything _isn’t_ fine. I really need to talk with Sadie right now. I-is she home?” 

“She _is_ here, but she’s been acting strange. She refused to eat breakfast, and she’s talking about how horrible it is that she’s now ‘inhabiting the body of an organic creature’.” 

“Sadie” happen to walk by behind Barbara. “Steven?” she asked when she turned and caught glimpse of him at the door. 

“…Pearl?” Steven asked. 

“Yes; It _is_ me, Steven!” 

“What’s going on?” asked Mrs. Miller. “Sadie, what’s happened to you?” 

“I’ve already told you, Ma’am,” Pearl-in-Sadie’s-body answered, and strangely calmly. “I’m not your daughter, and am one of the Gemstone folk that live here in town. Somehow, I’ve ended up in your daughter's body. We’ve spoken about this!” 

“It’s true,” said Steven. “Something happened to Sadie and two of the Gems I know. And now they’ve all switched bodies.” 

“Well, wha—Sadie, I thought you were just pulling my leg when you said that,” Mrs. Miller replied. She stood aside to make room for Steven to speak to “Sadie”. 

“No,” replied Pearl-Sadie, “it’s true, and I have to go with Steven to help figure out what’s happened and why we’re like this.” 

Steven nodded. 

“I knew the girl who lives here was involved at least, but another Gem is too? Whom?” Pearl-Sadie asked. 

“Unfortunately, Peridot was affected also,” said Steven. “Let’s try our best to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible.” 

“ _The device…_ ” Pearl-Sadie whispered. 

Steven nodded again with a worried expression. 

Mrs. Miller gave a stupefied look. “What exactly is going on?” she asked. 

****** 

Steven gathered Peridot-Pearl, Sadie-Peridot, and Pearl-Sadie in the living area of the Beach House. Therein, he cautiously crept up the stairs to the loft toward the ancient Gem device. Steven held a broom in hand, and Garnet and Amethyst stood by whilst looking on. They were prepared for anything. 

Soon Steven was upon it. He slowly stuck the broom handle out and inched it toward the machine. He was about to poke it, when suddenly it glowed and its feet emerged from its body. What appeared to be eyes lit up on the front of the device. It startled Steven, and he stumbled backward off of the loft. Garnet caught him. 

“W-whoa! What… what is this thing?” Steven asked. 

“ _-Processing System Update..._

_-Now downloading latest version update from Universe Network... Connecting to Gemstone Homeworld Universe Network for latest version update..._

_...Connected..._

_-Processing download. Initializing..._

_-Downloading data..._

_17%..._

_48%..._

_63%..._

_96%..._

_-Download complete._

_-Initializing current data for SWAPPER OS..._

_-Initializing complete._

_-Now starting..._

_-Startup Complete._ ” 

“It can talk!” Amethyst said. 

“ _Hello there, and good day,_ ” the device spoke again. “ _I hope you all find this planet’s day cycle to be a pleasant one,_ ” it said. 

“ _I_ _am a_ oneSelf Warping Apparatus for Peer to Peer Extrapersonal Reinforcement _,_ ” it continued. “ _Or SWAPPER, for short._ ” 

“You’re…a _SWAPPER_ ?” Pearl-Sadie asked. “So you… ‘ _swap_ ’ things?” 

“ _Yes,_ ” it replied. “ _I SHIFT the bodies of living creatures, whether they are organic… or otherwise. It is my primary function._ ” 

“So it was you!!” Peridot-Pearl exclaimed. “You’re the one who did this to us! You changed our bodies!” 

Grunting, Amethyst ambled away to retrieve something. 

“ _Yes, that is correct,_ ” SWAPPER replied. “ _I observed you through my security camera while I was in standby mode. During the following night cycle of this planet, I initiated a SHIFT and switched the bodies belonging to you, the three Users of SHIFT #3,531. I must now register the three of you by name for this SHIFT Session. I have yet to do so, and so am unable to move forward with this SHIFT Session until you all are registered._ ” 

Amethyst returned with a baseball bat, and lunging forward with a war cry and suddenly leaping in the air, tried to attack the SWAPPER with it. She was going to bring the bat down on the device’s body to “shut it down,” and she cried out: “I’m gonna smash you to bits, you ratty robot!” 

But Steven rushed in front of SWAPPER and stood between it and her. 

“Amethyst, you can’t do that! At the very least, look at it this way: if you break SWAPPER, then Pearl, Sadie, and Peridot would be stuck in each other’s body. None of us know how SWAPPER works, much less how to repair him if he gets broken!” 

“ _Hmph_ ,” Amethyst snorted. “Well, fine, all right, Steven. I _won’t_ break it.” 

“ _Please allow me to proceed with the User Registration of SHIFT #3,531,_ ” SWAPPER said. “ _To begin with, I would like to register first the individual of this current SHIFT that I had first met—the one that recovered me from the place where I had slept for the last 5,000 years. First, I shall register the Pearl that is now inhabiting the body of an organic creature._ ” 

SWAPPER faced Pearl-Sadie. “ _Please state your name and owner._ ” 

“I don’t have an owner,” Pearl told the SWAPPER bluntly. 

“ _Understood._ _User registered as_ User [NO OWNER] Pearl _,_ ” the SWAPPER said. Pearl frowned. 

“ _Next, I will register the organic creature that was SHIFTed along with the two Gemstone Persons of this current SHIFT._ ” SWAPPER said, turning to Sadie-Peridot. “ _You and the male creature here both appear to be, and act as, intelligent life forms. So, following that assessment: may I have your name, please?_ ” 

“I’m a human,” said Sadie-Peridot. “My name is Sadie Miller.” 

“ _Understood. User registered as_ User HUMAN Sadie Miller _._ ” 

Sadie-Peridot tilted her head. 

“ _Last of all, I will register the second of the two Gemstone Persons that were SHIFTed in this SHIFT Session._ ” The SWAPPER turned to Peridot-Pearl. “ _What is your name?_ ” it asked her. 

“I,” began Peridot-Pearl, “am a Gem Technician sent here to this planet to monitor the gestation of a dormant geoweapon incubating in the center of the planet.” 

“She just can’t help but brag about her career, given half the chance…” Pearl-Sadie mumbled. 

“However!! I have rebelled against the rulers and governing body of my home planet to pursue a life of freedom on this world instead! My superiors, peers, and friends alike refer to me as… (and remember the name!)” 

She struck a dramatic pose. “…PeridotFacet-2F5L Cut-5XG!!” 

Everyone glanced at SWAPPER. 

“ _Understood. User Registered as_ User Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG _._ ” 

There was silence for a moment. 

The SWAPPER turned to face Steven and it looked him in the eye. It emitted a net of lasers and scanned Steven. Everyone was shocked and Garnet hunkered down into a fighting stance. 

“ _I’ve scanned you to determine your Gem type._ ” SWAPPER said. “ _You appear to be of the Rose Quartz Gem class._ ” 

“Well…” said Steven, “That’s _almost_ completely true…” 

“ _That is indeed a Rose Quartz Gem in your abdomen, is it not?_ ” SWAPPER asked. “ _It certainly is, so therefore you must be a Rose Quartz, a new type of Gemstone created by assimilating mineral compounds from the soil of newly discovered terrestrial planets. That is what the data shows._ ” 

“I-I'm not a Rose Quartz,” Steven began. “Well, I _am_ … but I'm also part human. Humans… are a type of creature that live here on this planet. As you can maybe tell, there are many other humans besides myself… and Sadie! …I-I'm Steven. Steven Universe.” 

“ _Pleased to meet you, Steven,_ ” SWAPPER spoke. “ _Were you also to be SHIFTed?_ ” 

“N-no! I want you to turn everyone back to normal!” 

“ _I see then; understood. You shall be the Administrator of this SHIFT Session. Your Username is_ 'Administrator Steven Quartz Universe' _. I shall refer to you as such when I address you._ ” 

“I-It just so happens that that is my name to begin with,” Steven said. “And just 'Administrator Steven' is fine, if you must be so formal.” 

“ _Understood, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe._ ” 

Steven sighed. 

“What do I have to do as the Administrator of the…um, SHIFT?” he asked. 

“ _I require that you oversee each of the_ Users’ _progress adjusting to life as the other. You must spend the majority of one day cycle with each_ User _. At the end of each day cycle, return to me to report what you had done with each_ User _, and what they had learned about living as another person… and what they had experienced living as the person that they now are._ ” 

“Ah… okay,” Steven replied. 

“ _I have gone through the memories of each one of the_ Users _of this SHIFT,_ ” the SWAPPER said. “ _The reason I have shifted them into the body of the one they are now in is because:_

“ _User [NO OWNER] Pearl is to become a human, because she looks down on humans so very intensely. Therefore, she must now live life as one of the creatures she thinks so little of, to learn to appreciate them, the humans._

“ _User HUMAN Sadie Miller must become a Gem to learn what it is like to live as one of the alien creatures that she understands so little about._

“ _And finally, User Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG must become a Pearl, so that she will stop discriminating against the Pearl Gemstone class and thinking that Pearl Gemstone Persons are simply objects whom the ownership of asserts the high status of upper-class Gemstone citizens.”_

“Hold on!” Pearl protested. “I’ve never looked _down_ on humans! …It’s just that, I’ve only had trouble with… adjusting to being around them!” 

“…Who did you have trouble getting used to, Pearl…?” Steven asked. 

“ _Your father,_ ” Pearl mumbled. 

“I see Pearl as my equal!” Peridot spoke up. “That stuff about thinking less of Pearl was only because that was on Homeworld the only thing I was taught about Pearls!” 

“…I still don’t know much about anything that has to do with Gems,” Sadie-Peridot murmured… 

The three turned to look at Steven. 

Steven nodded twice. “…I’ll help so that everyone can go back to normal,” he said. 

Amethyst and Garnet exchanged glances. “Is that… really okay?” Amethyst asked. 

“I suppose it is,” Garnet replied. “Let’s… leave this to Steven.” 

“ _The_ Users _are in your care,_ ” said SWAPPER. “ _I eagerly await your report on every_ User _of each day, for every day until all_ Users _have been accounted for._ ” 

“I… see,” said Steven. “I understand.” 

“ _Understood,_ ” said SWAPPER. 

****** 

Steven took Sadie-Peridot back to the Barn via the Temple’s Warp Pad. 

“It's so weird, being a Gem,” she told him as they walked toward the Barn’s door. 

“It doesn't feel so weird,” Steven said. “I'm half Gem and it feels normal to me.” 

“That's different, though!” Sadie-Peridot laughed, and Steven laughed too. 

She and Steven walked inside of the Barn’s structure. 

“Look at all the stuff they've got here,” said Sadie-Peridot. 

“My family's barn is where Peridot 'n' Lapis’ve lived now ever since they moved to Earth.” 

“Oh. Uhm...what do they, um, do here?” Sadie-Peridot asked. 

“They camp out and watch ‘ _Camp Pining_ _Hearts_ ’!” Steven said. 

“You mean that corny soap opera that was popular a few years ago?” 

“Yeah, that one,” said Steven. 

“Oh, yeah,” he continued. “Peridot and Lapis redecorated here after they moved in together. They turned the place into their studio and make art out of the stuff all over the barnyard. They call it their 'meep-morps'. Art by any other name!” 

“Oh...” Sadie-Peridot murmured, looking at the different constructs Peridot and Lapis had pieced together. “It's all so...abstract.” 

“I suppose it really is,” Steven replied. 

****** 

Before too long, Steven and Sadie-Peridot parted ways. Steven said “goodbye” and Warped to the Crystal Temple. 

He met up with Pearl-in-Sadie’s body, and so he suggested that they walk her home to Sadie’s house together. 

“It’s so strange…” Pearl-Sadie murmured as she and Steven were on their way to Sadie’s house from the Crystal Temple, side-by-side. “Being human, I mean, Steven. It feels so… _organic_. Is this what you feel like all the time?” 

“I…guess so, Pearl,” Steven said. 

“…Sadie has work tomorrow, Steven,” Pearl said. “I… don’t want her to lose out on her pay. So I’m going to go to work, as her.” 

“You’re going to, Pearl?” Steven asked. “That’s so responsible of you.” 

“Right. Regardless, it’s my fault that this happened, since I was the one that... brought _SWAPPER_ home with me.” 

****** 

Steven left to return to the Crystal Temple after Pearl went “home” to Sadie’s house. At the Beach House, he found Peridot sitting on the living area’s couch. 

“So, that’s that, then right?” Peridot-Pearl asked when his gaze met her eyes. “You’re all done for today?” 

“Yeah,” Steven replied. “I took Sadie-in-your-body back to the Barn, and I walked Pearl ‘home’ to Sadie’s house.” 

“What about me?” Peridot-Pearl asked. “When can we get started doing the ‘adjusting’ stuff together? I want to be honest, Steven—I want to go back to normal, in my own body, and soon!” 

“Well… I’m sorry, Peridot, but…” 

“But?” 

“Well, tomorrow, I have to be at the Big Donut with Pearl to help her adjust and… to help her work Sadie’s job. It really wouldn’t be good for me to leave her to do all that all by herself, even if Lars is there to help her. And I have to observe what she does so I can give a report to SWAPPER on what happened that day.” Steven glanced up into the loft. He saw SWAPPER resting on his bed like a cozy little kitten. He made a mental note to set SWAPPER on the floor when he next had a chance to. 

“What about the day after tomorrow?” 

“Uhm…” Steven began. 

“Yes?” 

“That day, I have to be at the Barn to help Sadie-in-your-body, too…” 

“What? But, but… but then that means you’re going to hang out with me last! I won’t be able to go back to being _ME_ for at least three more days!” 

“I’m sorry, Peridot…” Steven soothed. “Regardless of when I helped you, though… I think you’d be stuck in Pearl’s body for another three days anyway. Since SWAPPER only agreed to turn you back to normal after I gave him a report-once-a-day on behalf of each of you. And there’re three persons involved…” 

Peridot groaned and flopped back onto the couch. 

“Well, fine,” she said. “I guess I can just sit here and wait until then; ‘till it’s my turn. Since Pearl lives here, anyway—I’ll just go to sleep for three days, here on your couch.” 

“Sure, Peridot. If it’ll help you to pass the time,” Steven replied. 

****** 

Nightfall came sooner than usual that day. That night, Steven lay in bed and thought of what he would be doing in the morning. The first of three days that he would spend with the three folks close to him that had been affected by the ancient Gem robot; he’d be spending tomorrow with Pearl at work, at Sadie’s job. 

Steven moved the SWAPPER to the floor when he got back to the loft. Somehow it didn’t sit right with him to just carelessly leave it in his bed. He thought of how terrible it would be if he left it on his covers but then rolled over in his sleep. The SWAPPER might have fallen dangerously to the loft floor from his bed. If it _broke_ , then how would his friends go back to normal, in their own bodies? 

Below the loft, Peridot-in-Pearls’-body slept still and quietly. She said she would wait there until it was her turn to spend a day with him. At the rate time sped by today, hopefully it wouldn’t be long until the day Steven and Peridot gave their report to SWAPPER, and he, SWAPPER, put everything back to normal. 

Steven was apprehensive, but still deeply eager to help his friends. 

What would tomorrow bring? Hopefully a pleasant start to helping his friends find their way back to normal, Steven thought. 

**END OF CHAPTER I**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The SHIFT acronym stands for "S.H.ifting I.nto the F.orme of AnoT.her".


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven helps Pearl-Sadie work at the Big Donut in the real Sadie's stead.

_ Steven tries to help Pearl-Sadie work in the real Sadie’s stead at the Big Donut. Dexterous, adroit, and adept, Pearl performs the role of “food service cashier” extraordinarily well and makes no few satisfied customers. _

******

Steven awoke early and with a start. Quickly and with care he made his way to the Beach House bathroom, and began his usual morning routine. Toilet, toothbrush, and then a morning shower… Getting dressed, and then… Steven was soon out of the bathroom, and out through the front door. 

He had dressed quickly, although with not as much care as when he quietly descended the loft stairs and had softly tiptoed to the bathroom to avoid waking Peridot-Pearl (she was still sleeping on the living room couch). 

Today he was to help Pearl with her new job at the local donut shop, the Big Donut. The device Pearl had brought back to the Crystal Temple tucked under her lithe arm had switched her body with the body of a local young woman named Sadie Miller. An ever-responsible, budding young adult, Sadie happened to go to work every day at Big Donut, her employer. 

Regardless of their circumstances, Pearl  _ insisted _ that she take Sadie to work despite things—by literally walking there in Sadie’s own shoes (and body too?). “It wouldn’t do if Sadie missed a day of work because of… _ erm _ , something that I’m more than  _ just a bit responsible _ for,” Pearl had said. She chuckled nervously and added, her resolution, “I can work at the Big Donut tomorrow in her place.”

That morning, Steven went straight to Sadie’s house to pick Pearl up. Of course, since Pearl was in Sadie’s body, she looked just like Sadie. So it felt to him as if he were taking the real Sadie to work. It was… a bit strange, as he usually needn't do that.

Pearl-Sadie greeted him at the front door of the Miller residence. “Mornin’, Pearl!” Steven exclaimed. “Ready yet? Ready for your first day on the job as ‘Donut shop cashier?’”

“I suppose,” Pearl said. She was already dressed and wearing Sadie’s uniform, the Big Donut polo shirt that Sadie always donned to work. “It’s good to be present at work early.” She flashed the keys to Big Donut’s front door. “Sadie says she’s the one in charge of locking up the donut shop at closing time each day, so she has the keys to the restaurant.”

“Shall we go now?” Pearl spoke again. “It’s still very early, and I’d like to get there as soon as management allows.”

“I always thought that Sadie and Lars  _ were  _ the managers,” Steven said.

Pearl-Sadie blinked. “Oh, that’s right. That other boy will be working there today,” she said. “The one...um,  _ Sadie _ , is co-workers with.”

“Lars is a nice guy!” said Steven. “Well… _ sometimes _ . But you and Lars’ll get along great! Especially since you’re Sadie today.” Steven’s eyes narrowed and he smiled and leaned in close. “ _ Did you know that Lars has a crush on her _ ?” he whispered.

“Oh that’s just  _ wonderful _ ,” Pearl said. “It’ll be just like dealing with your father, except now  _ I’m _ Rose Quartz.”

“No it won’t!” Steven said with a smile. “Because Lars is really good at hiding his feelings.”

Pearl groaned, but Steven laughed.

“ _ Shall _ we go, M’lady?” he asked, and bowed and offered Pearl his hand.

Pearl-Sadie smiled and took Steven’s outstretched palm, and they left the Miller residence for the Beach City donut shop and Pearl’s first day at work.

******

Steven tittered and chattered in the most adorable way all the way to the Big Donut. “It’s so nice of you to fill in for Sadie, when she’s…you know, someone else,” he said while naming all of the fun things they could do together on the job to help make Pearl’s first day as a cashier more… “manageable” (an employee joke). 

“It’s good to take responsibility for one’s own actions,” Pearl responded and quite simply.

Steven laughed. No matter how lightly she treated her own resolve to help Sadie out in a time like this, he was still proud of her.

The Big Donut wasn’t so far away. Steven held the front door of the shop open for Pearl after she opened the shop and unlocked it and he smiled when she thanked him and entered.

“What’s the first order of business as an employee?” Pearl asked.

“You mean besides, ‘Get to work!’?” Steven answered gleefully. Pearl-Sadie rolled her eyes at his joke.

“Steven, I meant, ‘what is the first thing that Sadie is supposed to do at work when she gets here?’”

“Uh… Oh! She sets out fresh donuts for the customers to order!”

“Hm,” Pearl murmured. She grumbled a sigh. “I can’t believe the owners trust two teenagers to run this whole store all by themselves, day in and day out,” she said.

“At one time not that long ago, they didn’t make the donuts fresh here anymore,” Steven told her. “But Sadie says that when an employee safety lawsuit against Big Donut was thrown out, she and Lars were allowed to produce in the kitchen fresh donuts again.”

“…Why was there a lawsuit against Big Donut in the first place?” Pearl asked.

“Someone got hurt really bad in the back room while making donuts once.”

Pearl sighed again. “Let’s just try to do this well so that Sadie can be paid for today’s work and I can get out of this death trap for humans?” she said.

“Aye, aye, captain!” Steven cried. “But let’s wash our hands first. Gotta be sanitary! We’re working in the food-service industry now.”

So they did that after Steven led Pearl to the shop’s kitchen. They soon found the dough mixer too and decided to start making fresh donuts for the sales that day. After checking around the kitchen, Steven found a list of ingredients that Sadie had left behind. It was the shop’s recipe for Big Donut’s signature yeast-raised donut. The instructions on preparing the donuts were there too.

“I found the donut recipe, Pearl!” he called.

“Good, Steven!” said Pearl. “Bring it over here and we’ll follow it to make donuts for the day.”

Steven showed Pearl the recipe. “We’ll make about 120 donuts to start the day with, Steven,” Pearl told him. “So let’s see what we’ll have to mix together to make the dough for the donuts.”

Steven shared the recipe with Pearl and together they spooned yeast into a bowl with measuring spoons.

“We need twenty-two-and-one-half teaspoons,” Steven told Pearl. She was satisfied when they had scooped in that amount.

Next, Steven measured out seven-and-a-half cups of fresh milk and set it on the stovetop to heat. While he did that, Pearl measured out enough shortening for their batch of donuts.

“Twelve-and-a-half ounces of shortening for the donuts, Steven?”

“Yes, that’s the right amount,” he answered.

“You know, my memory isn’t as sharp as it usually is,” Pearl told him. “It must be because my mind’s now in a human’s body?”

“Oh. Hang in there, Pearl!”

Together, they set the shortening in a bowl and poured the warmed milk over it.

“Next,” said Steven, “we sprinkle the twenty-two-and-a-half teaspoons of instant yeast into one-and-two-thirds cups of warm water and mix it all together. That way the dough’ll rise and the donuts’ll have their airy texture like they’re supposed to.”

Steven heated the water in the nearby kitchen microwave while Pearl went and grabbed the bowl of baking yeast that they had set aside moments ago. The water was warm and about 97 degrees Fahrenheit when they took it from the microwave (and then took its temperature), so they mixed the yeast into the water right away.

Pearl looked over the directions for the donuts. “The instructions say to let the yeast-water sit for five minutes,” she told Steven. So they took a short break.

“How is working as Sadie so far, Pearl?” Steven asked.

“It’s not too bad so far,” Pearl said. “I’m still so much shorter than usual, though, but it’s not that bad.”

“I forgot to ask,” said Steven, “Did you eat breakfast this morning?”

“What? Of course not.”

“You didn’t eat breakfast!?” Steven cried. “But that’s the most important meal of the day! Quick, Pearl, when the donuts are done baking and when we’re done frosting—the donuts, of course—you’ve gotta have one of them to eat.”

“But Steven, you  _ know  _ I detest the thought of eating…well, anything, ever!”

“That’s because you’re a Gem. But right now you’re Sadie. A human! And you know that humans need to eat! You’ve told me and Connie that more times than I can remember!”

Pearl paused for a moment. Her lip twisted. “Fine,” she finally said and with a sigh, “I’ll have a donut and some coffee. This  _ is _ Sadie’s body; and I do need to make sure she… _ I _ , I mean, consume sustenance so that she doesn’t get sick. Or die from malnutrition.”

“That’s great, Pearl,” Steven said, relenting. “Which do you like best? Chocolate-frosted? Vanilla-frosted? Strawberry-frosted? Or  _ glazed _ ?” he asked. Steven nodded his eyebrows as he mentioned the glazed variety of donuts.

“I think I’ll try the glazed kind,” said Pearl. “You make it sound so appealing!”

“Yeah, glazed donuts are great!” said Steven. “Amethyst really likes them, too.” Steven clutched his chin and cocked his head. “Just don’t eat too many or they’ll clog up your arteries,” he said. “Well, Sadie’s arteries. Since this is her body.”

“Sure then, Steven,” Pearl chuckled. If anything, it was a great excuse to eat as little as possible, anyway.

They glanced at the clock on the wall. The five minutes were up, “So back to the grind,” said Steven. “Or, um, mixing, in this case.”

When Steven checked the yeast mixture and the milk mixture, he found that both had cooled to lukewarm, room temperature. The directions said to wait for that before moving on to the next step. So Steven and Pearl-Sadie brought their ingredients over to the kitchen’s large stand mixer. The yeast mixture was put into it, followed by the milk and shortening.

“Next?” Pearl asked.

“Ten eggs, beaten!”

Pearl beat the eggs and added them.

“And?”

“One-and-one-fourth cup of granulated white sugar!”

Pearl found the large, name brand bag of Rebecca’s Sugar® and added the right amount to the mix. 

“ _ Rebecca’s _ is a decent brand,” said Pearl, “but whenever I bake for you, Steven, I always use Diamond Crystal Gem®-brand sugar.”

“I’m so grateful for that, Pearl,” Steven said with sincerity.

“Wonderful, Steven. And what’s next?”

“Next is the salt. Seven-and-a-half teaspoons.”

So Pearl added the salt.

“Whoa, Pearl, you’ve even saltier than usual today!” Steven cried with stars in his eyes.

Pearl rolled her own eyes. “Honestly, Steven. That was a bad joke and a total waste of that recurring sight gag.”

Steven  _ sweatdropped _ and sheepishly scratched the back of his head with his eyes shut. “Sorry, Pearl- dono ,” he said.

“ _ That _ , this time, is the Crewniverse’s fault, so I don’t blame you.”

“Uhhh…”

“Next ingredient?”

“Oh, uh…five teaspoons of ground nutmeg.”

“And then?”

“This is the best part! Now we add the flour!”

“How much of it?”

“It says ‘115 ounces’. That’s fourteen cups and three-eighths of a cup, by the way.”

“Good job, Steven! You’ve been practicing your multiplication and division!”

“Yeah, Pearl. Fractions are fun! But, only add one half of the flour at first. Then we increase the mixer’s speed when the flour is ‘well incorporated’. The second half of the flour gets added after the ingredients are all ‘well combined’.”

So Pearl added the seven-and-three-sixteenths cups of flour to the mixer.

“What’s next?” she asked.

“We use the paddle attachment to mix all of this together on ‘low speed’. When the flour’s mixed in with the other ingredients, we turn the mixer speed up to ‘medium’.”

Mixing the donuts was straightforward and ran its course. When all the dough was mixed properly, Pearl and Steven turned the dough out onto a floured workstation and cut out the donut shapes with a donut cutter each.

“This is actually kind of fun,” said Pearl as she cut out the donut shapes. “Maybe I’m enjoying it so much because Sadie’s body is so used to working here. I mean that: she must enjoy it, right? She wouldn’t work here if she didn’t like it.”

“She’s all about her job,” Steven said. “Either way, I’m glad that you’re enjoying yourself.”

They were finished before too long. “All the dough is cut out now, Steven,” said Pearl. “What now?”

“Next, we put them on a donut tray. The mesh kind; and then we leave ‘em in the proofer for 30 minutes so they can rise.”

Into the proofer went the donuts, and they would have to wait for 30 minutes. Pearl didn’t do or say much besides look around the kitchen and glance at Steven or the donuts occasionally. She was still getting used to her new height, and being short was a bit more than just a little frustrating. She didn’t show it though, and Pearl was doing her best to make things work as well as possible.

Steven spoke up.

“Pearl, what about the other baked goods that they sell here?” he asked.

“What about them, Steven?”

“We only made donuts,” he said. “We still need to make donut  _ sticks _ , twists, cinnamon rolls, and jelly rolls…”

“Oh, dear; that’s a lot more baking that’d need to be done …”

So Steven decided to check the refrigerator for more ingredients. Luckily, when he did he found dough for stick donuts, donuts twists, cinnamon rolls, and jelly pastries. It was a really big refrigerator.

“Look!” he said. “Sadie and Lars thought ahead from before yesterday!”

“How did I miss that when I went in there for the eggs?” Pearl asked.

“It’s fine,” Steven said. “Let’s get the fryer ready.”

******

There were about 25 of each pastry that wasn’t a round donut. Together, Pearl and Steven prepped the fryer and filled it full with palm oil. Pearl handed Steven baked good after baked good, and soon the fryer was full of browning pastries bobbing up and down in hot oil. 

“Smells great!” Steven exclaimed.

When a donut was browned on one side, Steven flipped it over so it could cook on the other. While Steven fried the donuts, Pearl put the cinnamon buns and jelly pastries in the kitchen oven to bake (until golden brown).

Before too long all two hundred and twenty pastries were finished and golden brown all around.

Steven got out the glaze and frostings from their place in the cupboard.

“Twenty-six strawberry-frosted, twenty-six vanilla-frosted, twenty-eight chocolate-frosted, and forty glazed,” Steven counted. “That’s how we’ll ice them.”

“Why are there more chocolate donuts and so many more glazed donuts than all the others?” Pearl asked him.

“The ones there are more of are the more popular varieties.”

“Oh!”

With some work, he and Pearl managed to frost and glaze all of the donuts as quickly as they could manage.

Up front, they brewed lots coffee too in several varieties, to be ready for the customers who might stop in for a donut and a decaf.

Steven loaded all of the donuts onto a rolling donut rack, and he and Pearl pushed it to the sales area at the front of the store. They got to work on arranging the donuts on the shelves behind the shop’s sales counter. In less than twenty minutes they were finished. 

They hoped that customers would come soon for a tasty snack.

Steven had gotten up at 5:35 AM to get to Pearl. She was ready at 6:15, and they left Sadie’s house at 6:20 AM. They got to the Big Donut at 6:45… and they had been working for a bit over an hour. It was 8:22 AM now.

“Dad says there’s, like, only 15 people in town, so do you think we’ll sell a lot of donuts today?” Steven asked.

“Maybe not. But even if we manage to sell only a few it’s still important to be ready for an order of any magnitude,” Pearl answered. “What if someone decided to order two dozen donuts at once? Or three dozen?”

“Oh, of course. Yeah, I can see why it’d be good to be prepared for that,” Steven replied.

Pearl tilted her head. “At what time today does the donut shop open?”

“Today Big Donut opens at 6:00 AM,” said Steven.

“Steven!! Then that means we’re over an hour behind schedule! We were even 45 minutes late to work today!”

“Oh, I guess we were…” Steven said.

“What!? It’s only my first day working here…as  _ Sadie _ ! ...and already I’ve done something of bad conduct!” she said. She started to pace back and forth briskly. “We were late, Steven! That means Sadie could get in trouble, or have her pay docked, or get  _ fired _ , or…”

“Pearl! Please calm down!” Steven cried.

Pearl stood still for a moment. “Oh, I suppose you’re right; I should... That’s done and we can’t change it. And it’s not the worst thing to be done in the workplace, I suppose. Being late…”

“Yeah.”

“Lucky for us, there were no customers. That’s good, too… It wouldn’t have been right to make someone wait a whole hour for a donut while we worked and made them in the back, you know?”

Lars walked into the store that moment. He was late to work that day too, but unlike “Sadie” and Steven, he didn't seem concerned about being behindhand. Neither had he spent such a long time preparing goods for the shop to sell like Steven and Pearl had…

“Oh, Lars, good morning!” Steven called out to him. Lars grimaced at the sight of Steven at the place where he worked. When he saw “Sadie”, though, his expression softened a bit.

“Hi, Sadie. And, uh, Steven, too. …Sorry I’m late today,” he told her. “My alarm clock didn’t go off this morning.”

“Sure, that’s fine, um, Lars,” Pearl-Sadie replied.

Lars was surprised. “…Aren’t you angry at me?” he asked. “Even just a little upset?”

“Um…no,” Pearl replied.

“…What…? Why not?”

“It was an accident, I guess?” Pearl said. “And you’re here now, so you can start to help us sell the donuts that people will come in to buy from us.”

“...Hey, um…Sadie, it’s really not like you to not be even just a little mad at me for being late,” Lars said. He really was surprised, for sure.

“It’s fine,” Pearl said. “In fact, we were late to start to man the counter ourselves, so I’d be a hypocrite if I were angry with you.”

“‘We’?” Lars asked. He glanced at Steven. “Steven is working here today too?”

“Sure am!” said Steven. “Oh, but I almost forgot! I’m not even wearing an employee uniform!” He ran to the back to find a Big Donut purple polo shirt.

Lars sighed. “Ohh- _ kay _ … So we’ll be dealing with  _ him _ for three whole shifts! Morning, noon,  _ and _ evening, huh? Just great.”

“What do you have against Steven?” Pearl-Sadie asked, scowling.

“Like you don’t know already?” Lars huffed. “He’s always bugging us, and getting in the way at the worst possible times. He’s such an annoying pain.”

Of course Pearl didn’t consider the son of Great Rose Quartz to be annoying or a pain at all, so this deeply upset her.

“Steven is a kind, * _ helpful _ * hard worker. He’s scarcely any bad qualities to speak of, and there is nil chance that I’ll allow you to speak ill of him simply because you find his kind exuberance and outgoing nature offensive!” It was just a guess, but Pearl hit the nail on the head on why Lars didn’t like Steven very much.

“…Sadie, you don’t normally speak like that,” Lars said, both quirking an eyebrow and completely ignoring the words Pearl-Sadie had just spoken to him.

Pearl-Sadie shut her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest. “That’s because I’m  _ not _ Sadie. I’m Pearl of the Crystal Gems,” she told him. “My mind was removed from my Gem and placed in the body of the Sadie Miller girl who works here. It…was actually my fault that that happened,” she finished, and scratched her head nervously.

“So as an act of goodwill and responsible… _ responsibility _ ,” Pearl continued, “I am working here at the Big Donut in Sadie’s stead for the day. At least until the ancient robot that I recovered from the alien temple switches our minds and bodies back to normal with its electromagnetic mind ray.”

“Uhhh…  _ riiight _ ,” Lars muttered. “You know, Sadie—the way you’re acting—that’s weird, even by Beach City standards.”

“And I’ve told you,” Pearl replied, “I’m  _ not _ Sadie, but rather Pearl of the Crystal Gems. An inorganic alien life form from another planet in a distant galaxy. I’m simply filling in for Sadie while she and I are somebody else.”

“You wanna take the day off? Go home and lie down for a while?”

“Sadie’s human body feels just fine,” said Pearl. “Neither it nor I need to go home, nor lie down.”

“Sadie, I think… I think maybe we ought to call your Mom. To pick you up and take you home, you know?” Lars said, incredulous. He reached for his smartphone.

Steven returned from the back room of the store.

“Okay, I’m back!” he exclaimed. “It took me forever to find one of the uniforms my size. I had to check near the napkins.”

Pearl-Sadie and Lars glanced at him.

“Did I miss anything?” Steven asked.

“I was just telling…  _ Lars _ … about what the SWAPPER did to us, and how I’m actually Pearl, your guardian and  _ a _ Guardian of Planet Earth. I am a Crystal Gem!” Pearl yelled at Lars.

“Steven…” Lars began. “Is that true? That this is one of your weird alien moms, but in  _ Sadie _ ’s body somehow?”

Pearl scowled at the use of the word “weird”.

“Oh, yeah, Lars, it’s true,” Steven said with sincerity. “An ancient robot that Pearl found in an even more ancient Gem Temple did this to her, Sadie, and our friend Peridot. They’ve all been switched into the other’s body, and so they’re trying to live each other’s lives to experience what it is to live as, and be…someone else. It’s the only way to make the SWAPPER switch them back to normal. I’m helping.”

Lars’ face twisted up in bemusement. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything the bell at the front door of the Big Donut chimed. Someone had entered the store.

“Oooh!!” Steven said, clapping his hands together in excitement. “Our first customer of the day! And our first customer together!”

It was PeeDee Fryman.

“Hey, Sadie, Lars,” he said. “Oh. Hi, Steven.”

“Hey, PeeDee!” Steven cried. “You here for a donut?”

“Yeah,” PeeDee told him. “I wanted breakfast this morning, but I’m totally sick of eating Dad’s home fries every single day, y’know? So if you will, I’ll have a donut and something warm to drink today.”

“Coffee and a donut?” Steven asked. “Or is hot cocoa more your, uh, * _ cup of tea? _ *”

“Hot cocoa is nice,” PeeDee said, “but I need the boost from a nice hot cup of joe. A java-mocha, please.”

“The afternoon rush can be tough, huh?” Steven asked, pouring PeeDee his cup of coffee. “What kind of donut, PeeDee?” 

“Glazed. I need the extra energy from the extra calories, too.”

Steven grabbed the donut off its rack with a pair of tongs. He bagged it and some napkins, set them and the coffee on the countertop, and rang up PeeDee’s purchase at the cash register.

“Two-twenty-seven, PeeDee.”

The other boy handed Steven a $5 and Steven quickly made change. 

“Have a great one, PeeDee!” he said, and returned to PeeDee two bills and seven coins.

“Yeah, you too. Thanks, Steven,” PeeDee nodded. He grabbed his donut and coffee and headed off to work.

When the shop’s door had shut behind PeeDee, Lars turned to look at the new employee. “Hey, Steven… you handled that like a pro,” he told him.

“It’s no trouble,” Steven said.

“Steven’s worked here before. Because of that, he’s a seasoned expert,” Pearl stated proudly.

“I  _ guess _ maybe it won’t be so bad having you work here for the day,” said Lars. “Welcome aboard, I guess, Steven.”

Steven grinned at him a toothy smile. “I’m happy to be a crew member of the S.S. Big Donut!” he replied, and he saluted.

Lars huffed.

Pearl-Sadie was about to say something to Lars about his indignation, but her stomach rumbled. She frowned sadly and rubbed at her side. “For some reason, my abdomen hurts. It’s such a strange sensation; it stings a bit, even,” she said. “Are these…‘hunger pangs’?”

“Yeah. Your stomach hurts because you’re hungry,” said Steven. “I almost forgot—you didn’t eat breakfast this morning, Pearl!”

He ran to the donuts’ display rack and pulled a glazed donut out of its place. Steven placed the donut on a napkin and presented it to Pearl. “Here,” he said.

She didn’t like it very much and her face twisted up. “N-no, thanks, Steven, I…”

“Pearl, Sadie’s body can’t work two-and-a-half shifts at a donut shop without even having had breakfast…! When was the last time you ate something, as Sadie?”

“I haven’t. I didn’t eat anything at all.”

“For two whole days?” Steven asked. Goodness, Pearl surely was being very difficult.

He brought the donut closer to her face and Pearl-Sadie moved her head away. Lars looked as if he were both grimacing and recoiling in disgust at the same time.

“Pearl…”

“Steven, I… I just don’t like it; the whole process of eating. You put edible matter into your mouth and then crush it with your teeth to mix it with your own  _ spit _ , and then…” she shuddered. “And then it  _ passes through you and becomes… _ ”

Steven shook the donut.

“Oh, fine!” Pearl said. “For Sadie’s, sake, I suppose.”

“Wash it down with some coffee too, for the boost you’ll need to stay attentive and alert,” Steven said. He smiled. Pearl surely was  _ cooperating _ now!

He poured her a cup of java-mocha. Lars watched with his hands in his pockets and rested his back against the wall.

She did finally eat the donut. “You know,” Pearl said as she chewed, “This is  _ disgusting _ . But it ‘tastes’ good, actually!” She had a swig of coffee to wash the donut down with.

“See, it’s not so bad, and you did need it since you hadn’t eaten,” said Steven. “Next time, though, Pearl, you should have some fruit and grains too with your breakfast; having glazed donuts every day isn’t such a healthy diet to keep.” Steven’s smile turned into a goofy grin and Pearl swatted him for it.

…Pretty soon Pearl was having a caffeine rush. Lars decided to take an early break and head to the back room.

“Oh no!” cried Steven, “She’s super-sensitive to caffeine since she's a Gem, and her Gem mind can’t take its first exposure to the stuff in stride, like she would be able to were she human!”

“Steven! Steven!” Pearl yelled as she ran along the wall and ceiling, “Let’sGoBackToTheKitchenAndMakeAWholeBunchMoreBakedGoodsAndThatWayWe’llNeverRunOutAndThey’llBeSoPleasedWithSadie’sConductThatShe’llGetAPromotionAndThisWholeThingWithTheSWAPPPERWouldHaveBeenA _ Good _ ThingAfterAllAnd…”

But she crashed pretty quickly. The caffeine wore off in an instant.

“Steven, I feel terrible…” Pearl moaned. She had fallen over and could not get back up on her feet.

Steven helped her to a seat at a table and gave her milk and water to help her “sober” up. 

Lars returned from the back of the store, as the chaos had passed. 

“Is she gonna be okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” said Steven.

“Man, this is really, frickin’ weird,” Lars grunted.

“This is pretty much a normal day for me, even with all things considered,” Steven replied. Lars groaned.

Steven glanced over at the clock to check the time. “It’s 11:59,” he said. “Lunch break soon?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Lars grunted.

“I know you don’t like it, but I want you to eat something for lunch, Pearl,” Steven told her. Pearl groaned.

“What did you bring for lunch, Steven?” Lars asked.

“Oh, that’s right, Lars! Pearl, you didn’t pack a lunch today because you didn’t want to eat, huh?”

“No,” she said. “Eating is still gross.”

“…My Mom made me a Monte Cristo sandwich for lunch today,” Lars began. “I like it, but I can never manage to finish the whole thing all by myself. …Do you want half of it?” he asked Pearl-Sadie.

“Sure, thanks…” Pearl groaned. She took a sip of the water Steven had brought her.

“That’s so kind of you, Lars,” Steven beamed.

“O-oh, well, sure,” Lars said, scratching the back of his head.

He found the sandwich and sat down across from Pearl at the small table. Pearl was hesitant to try something as decadent as a deep-fried ham and cheese sandwich, but at Lars and Steven’s insistence she finally did take a bite.

“This is gross too, but  _ good _ ,” Pearl said between bites. “What’s in it?”

“Ham and turkey and cheese,” Lars replied. “It’s coated in egg batter and then fried in a pan.”

“Hm.”

Steven said not much at all and paid out-of-pocket for a large croissant from the display rack behind the sales counter. “Pretty responsible of you,” Lars told him, and Steven grinned.

When lunch was over, Steven helped Pearl and Lars clear the table.

“That was great!” Steven exclaimed. “So after lunch, what’s next? The afternoon rush, huh?”

“Yeah,” said Lars. “It’s usually not so bad though.” He cracked a small smile at Steven. “Nothin’ you couldn’t handle, I guess.”

“I’d always find a way,” said Steven.

“Serving food to customers at a food shop isn’t so bad,” Pearl spoke. “I’ve fought in a great many battles, sometimes fighting against Gems larger than myself while armed with only barely a dagger,” she said. “I think I could handle a sudden surge of customers during afternoon hours on a clear autumn day. Not hard at all!” She made fists and posed with her hands on her hips. 

“This is  still weird,” Lars muttered.

******

The day moved forward, as time waits for no man, Gem, or ancient mind-swapping Gem robot. The afternoon rush turned out to not be that bad, just as Lars had said.

Customers came and went, and Steven, Pearl-Sadie, and that other guy kept busy by serving the folks who came and went.

Mayor Dewey showed up looking for coffee to get the energy he needed to campaign to get the votes he needed to stay in office. Funny how all of that works. Steven and Pearl-Sadie served him kindly and so well, he even told Steven, “I might consider giving you a political favor for this!” at which Steven beamed from ear to ear.

Sour Cream came in for a hot chocolate and something sweet to eat.

“Coffee and a donut? Or  _ shave and a haircut _ ?” Steven asked him, rapping “shave and a haircut” on the countertop.

“This isn’t a barber shop, though…” Sour Cream murmured. “Unless the whipped cream they put on the drinks is really shaving cream. You’d tell me if that was the case, right, Steven?”

Steven snickered and Sour Cream went on. “I’ll just have…”

…He picked his treats and Pearl bagged ‘em for him and poured his cocoa. 

“Ha-hah! Lemme ring you up!” said Steven.

A local townsperson named Ian stopped by for a can Strawberry Sugar Shock Shutdown energy drink. Steven knew his name, but hadn’t ever spoken to him before. Somehow, though, Steven felt like he and Ian knew each other from somewhere. Like they were old friends, maybe?

Strange.

Time flew by quickly and at dusk at the end of the day, the Pizza Twins stopped by for a donut and latte each—Jenny’s treat.

“Kiki’s so good at serving tables and making deliveries! She helped me pick up the slack today…  _ my own _ slack, so I just had to treat her to something nice as thanks,” Jenny beamed proudly and Kiki laughed. “So we’ll have a latte and a donut each,” Kiki finished.

“What kind of donut?” Steven asked.

“Glazed,” they said in unison.

“That’s our most popular variety,” Steven told them.

“How about the lattes?” Pearl asked.

“I’ll have a hazelnut coffee latte, please,” said Kiki.

“Give me one with lots of caramel,” Jenny said.

Pearl got to work on making their lattes and handed them each a beverage when she was finished.

“Thanks!” they both said. Steven rang them up as he’d done all day. 

Kiki and Jenny soon left, and Steven, Pearl, and Lars were the only persons in the shop once again.

Lars glanced at the clock. “Oh. It’s 12 minutes to closing time,” he said.

Pearl gave a start at that. “The day’s almost over? It all went by so quickly.”

“It’s either it’s like that, or a day feels like a whole week when you work here,” Lars told her. “…Anyway, thanks for helping out today. Doesn’t look like anyone else will come, so we can start to close for the day.”

Steven heard that and took the liberty of changing the open sign at the front door to “closed”.

“…It was…nice working with you today, Ms. Pearl,” Lars said.

Pearl-Sadie shook her head slightly and smiled a bit. “Just ‘Pearl’ is fine,” she replied. “And to be quite honest, you didn’t do very much work at all, yourself,” she said. She said it kindly, though.

Lars smiled. “Yeah. Usually, I don’t,” he said. Though that wasn’t exactly something to be proud of…

“Well, even if you only did very little,” Pearl began, “you shared your lunch with me. …Thank you for the sandwich.”

He nodded. “Ah, sure.”

Meanwhile, Steven mopped the floor.

******

At closing time, Pearl and Steven left and locked the store’s doors behind them, just like Sadie herself did every evening after work. Lars had already gone on home shortly before the store was locked up for the day, at Pearl’s behest.

Because of what Steven had mentioned about Lars, she decided that someone a bit more “responsible” should be in charge of closing shop for the night. Anyway, it seemed that Sadie would let Lars take off before closing time on a regular basis, regardless. Either way, Lars didn’t complain and left Big Donut with a smile on his face. At the end of the day, he was happy to knock off work early, uh,  _ at the end of the day _ .

Steven helped Pearl set the alarm for the night. He wasn’t sure how to do it, but Pearl figured it out very quickly. “It’s much simpler than Gem technology,” she said. “Easy to figure out.”

“Oh. You’re right,” said Steven. Pearl glanced at him. 

“Humankind is a long way behind Gems in the field of computing and programming,” she said.

“Yeah. Like with SWAPPER,” Steven said. “It’s thousands of years older than even the Rebellion, and it can still do something like putting someone’s mind in another person’s body. It didn’t even have to be close to the people it was doing that to…to do that.”

“Yes, that’s right…” Pearl murmured.

“…So what’s next, Pearl? You’re going back to Sadie’s house, right?”

“Of course I am.”

Steven gave her a look. “ _ Will you eat dinner tonight? _ ” he asked suspiciously.

“ _ Of course _ I will, Steven…”

“Well, good!” Steven replied. “You need your vitamins and  _ minerals _ ,” he said dotingly and cooing, as if he were talking to a baby.

“Steven, please. I  _ am _ a mineral,” she said, and he laughed at that.

“Of course, Pearl.”

“You know,” she replied, “today was nice. It felt good to work! It made me feel…  _ industrious _ ! …But I’m taking the rest of the week off.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t want to do this again, really. It’s not my cup of tea,” she said as Steven’s pun from earlier that day came to mind. “It’s not my cup of  _ coffee _ , either. I think I’ll stay away from caffeine for the rest of my perpetual life, thank you. And I’m sure Lars can run this place by himself. You made it look so easy, Steven.”

“Hm. Do you think Sadie will be okay with missing pay from not being at work?”

“I’m sure she’d understand.”

“I’ll tell her for you.”

******

It was night now. Steven walked Pearl home to the Miller residence, and said goodbye to her as she walked through the front door.

He strode home by himself. It was dark and chilly, so he made sure to move as quickly as he could to get back as soon as possible. 

The SWAPPER was on his bed in the loft when he entered the Beach House.

“ _ Hello, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe. I hope that you find this world’s night cycle to be pleasant today _ ,” it said. “ _ I take it that User [NO OWNER] Pearl has leaned to experience what it is like to live as one of the creatures she looks down on so intensely? _ ”

“…Umm…sure!” said Steven. “Today Pearl made donuts and worked at Sadie’s workplace. She sold donuts too! She even ate for the first time in, um…maybe it was even the first time she’d ever eaten. And she’s gone home to Sadie’s house and mom, and they’ll eat dinner together.”

“ _ That is satisfactory _ ,” the SWAPPER said. “ _ For a creature that thinks less of humans, experiencing life as a human being _ _ is an excellent way to learn to appreciate them. This is good progress, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe. I would be inclined to place the mind of User [NO OWNER] Pearl and User Human Sadie Miller in the body both minds began life in. _ ”

Steven nodded and tilted his head. “So will you?”

“… _ However _ ,  _ I cannot. The three users that are registered on this SHIFT came as a group of three persons. Again, I have only changed three Users’ body—User _ _ Pearl has to become User Human Sadie Miller because she looks down on humans, and so must live life as one to learn to appreciate them. _

_ “User Human Sadie Miller has to become User Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG to learn what it is like to be one of the alien creatures she understands so little about. _

_ “And finally, User Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG has to experience life in the  _ Form _ of User [NO OWNER] Pearl so that she will stop discriminating against the Pearl Gemstone type. She thinks that they are simply objects; while this is normal thinking for the denizens of Gemstone Homeworld, it seems to be in conflict with the way of thinking of the Gemstone People that have emigrated to this world. Therefore, User Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG must live as a Pearl. As with the other two Users, you must file a report with me as the Administrator after a day of supervising their progress. Then I will change them back. _

_ “So far you have filed reports for only one User. I eagerly await the other two reports so that I may SHIFT the three Users back to their own body.” _

“I see…” said Steven.

******

Steven showered and brushed his teeth for bed that night. Garnet and Amethyst had wished him goodnight, though they hadn’t said anything to the SWAPPER. Amethyst had wondered aloud if it, SWAPPER, were thinking about switching her mind with someone else's, or on switching the mind of Ruby and Sapphire. Garnet dismissed the latter thought with a shrug.

In his pajamas, Steven had gotten into bed and under the covers. He reached for his phone to call Pearl. He would dial Sadie’s number to do that, of course.

The SWAPPER had entered “standby mode” and put itself to sleep. Steven would be alone to talk with Pearl.

He dialed Sade’s number, and after four rings Pearl answered the phone. “Steven,” she said, “hi. The phone said it was you calling, so I answered it as soon as I could. Did you get home safely?”

“I did. How’re things on your end Pearl, as Sadie?”

“Things are fine, I suppose. Mrs. Miller is surprisingly fine with having an alien creature move into her daughter’s body.”

“Oh,” Steven replied.

“Like I shared with you earlier, I’m taking the rest of the week off from Big Donut,” Pearl said. “I hate to do that because it’s  _ Sadie’s job _ , after all, but…”

“I understand if you’re not able to go to work like that every day,” said Steven. “I think Sadie will understand too.”

“I hope so,” Pearl answered.

“You’ve had dinner?” Steven asked.

“ I…um… _ did _ have dinner after all. I didn’t like having to stomach…putting food into my  _ stomach _ , but it’s over now and I ate what Barbara made.”

“What was it?” Steven asked.

“She baked lasagna.”

“Sounds delicious!”

“ _ Eech _ …” Pearl groaned.

Steven paused to remember what he wanted to share with Pearl. “So I talked with the SWAPPER,” he told her.

“Oh! What did it say? Will it change us back?”

“…Not yet. It says it will change everyone back to normal after all three “Users” have learned to live life as the other person. Same as it said yesterday.”

“Oh, I see,” Pearl-Sadie replied, glumly.

“Chin up, Pearl,” Steven replied. “I’ll work hard and help everyone so that the three of you can go back to normal as soon as possible.”

“Thank you, Steven,” Pearl replied.

“Of course.”

Pearl paused for a moment. There was still one more thing she wanted to ask Steven regarding what they had done earlier that day. “By the way, Steven, did you ever find out who wrote the donut recipe that we followed this morning?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah—some guy named Alton Brown. It says he came up with the recipe for Big Donut’s shops.”

“Oh.”

“…Well, goodnight, Pearl,” Steven murmured. “Of course, tomorrow I’m going do what the SWAPPER requested so that you guys can go back to normal. Tomorrow I have to see Sadie at the Barn.”

“Sure. Goodnight, Steven,” she replied, “See you soon.”

Steven put his phone away and pulled his comforter over himself up to his chin. He had to be up early again tomorrow.

…Tomorrow he would be spending a day at the barn with what was Sadie’s mind in Peridot’s  _ Forme _ .

** END OF CHAPTER II **

_ Having assisted one of his friends in “Assimilating” after having been “SHIFTed”, Steven looks forward to tomorrow’s events—helping Sadie adjust to living life as a Gem. _


	3. Barn Buddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven, Lapis, and Sadie-Peridot have a fun day at the Barn.

The Warp Pad hummed and glowed aglow with a pillar of light. 

Steven manifested within the pillar and appeared atop the Warp Pad. The glowing stopped as he became corporeal, and he stepped off of the Warp Pad and trotted toward the Barn his folks owned. Today he would be spending time with his friend Sadie Miller, whose mind had been placed in the body of Peridot, a Gem he was close to. 

It was late in the afternoon and very close to evening. With the still, fall air, Steven came close to the outside of the Barn. The Barn doors were open, and Sadie-Peridot and Lapis Lazuli were reclining within. 

Sadie-in-Peridot’s-body was sitting sadly against the barn wall. Lapis stood nearby and watched her as Sadie fiddled with her own little, green thumbs. 

“You’re still having trouble adjusting?” Lapis asked her. There was concern in her voice and she truly did seem to care for Sadie’s well-being. 

“Yeah. I’m worried that I’ll never go back to my own body again. …It’s so strange. Being a Gem, I meant. It’s all so…surreal.” 

Outside, Steven strode closer and stopped at the barn’s doorway. The Gems hadn’t noticed him yet. 

“Sadie, I’m sure it will be okay after all.” Lapis said. “With Steven’s help, even the worst disasters are thoroughly resolved.” She turned her head and saw Steven standing in the barn doorway. 

“Hi, you two,” he said, greeting them. 

“Hi, Steven,” Lapis spoke. As always, her face brightened when she saw him. 

“Hey, Steven,” Sadie-Peridot greeted, glumly. 

“Why are you so down?” Steven asked. “Well, I mean, besides getting your head put into someone else’s…” 

“That’s just it,” Sadie-Peridot replied. “That’s exactly why I’m so upset. I’ve become a person that isn’t even a human being… and now I'm more or less stuck here. I miss my Mom, and work too…” 

“I’m here to spend the day with you, Sadie,” Steven told her. “When we’re finished, I’ll tell SWAPPER what we did together today and we’ll be one step closer to getting you and the others back to normal.” 

Sadie sighed. “Oh… All right, Steven. I’ll do what you need me to… Like you just said, ‘then we’ll be another step closer to getting things back to normal.’” 

Steven glanced at Lapis. “I guess a ‘normal’ day here for you guys is doing what you and Peridot usually do together. Lapis, what does a normal day at the barn look like for you two?” 

“We usually just hang out and watch _Camp Pining Hearts_ ,” she replied. 

“Steven told me that the other day,” Sadie-Peridot groaned. “I… kinda really don’t like that show.” 

“We could do something else,” Lapis suggested. “What do you think, Steven?” 

“Hm…” 

Steven wasn’t quite sure exactly what to go about doing with Sadie and Lapis. He glanced about the barn. 

All around were Peridot and Lapis’s works of art, the stuff they called “ _meep-morps_ ”. Steven turned to Sadie-Peridot. He had just come up with something great! 

“Sadie, do you like art?” he asked. 

“I like art, I guess,” she said. 

“Do you like to _make_ art?” 

“Sometimes, yeah. I draw when I have time to sometimes,” Sadie said. 

“When Peridot and Lapis first became friends, Peridot and I drew a card together for Lapis. We drew a picture of her and Lapis holding hands—I can’t draw hands very well, though…” he mused, “But maybe we can all just have an ‘art day’ together? Where we just draw pictures and do arts and crafts together!” 

“That’s just like when Peridot and I make _meep-morps_ together,” said Lapis. “That sounds like fun. What do you think, Sadie?” 

“I’ll do it…” she said. “It would be nice to help Steven help me work toward getting back to being ‘myself’,” she said, and she smiled a little. “…So sure, then. Let’s do it and try to have a fun time making our very own works of art.” 

****** 

Steven found paper and crayons, markers, and colored pencils. 

There was an old table among the things in the Barn, so the three worked hard to set it up near the middle of the room below the loft. 

“Let’s get started!” Steven called. “Draw and doodle nice stuff that makes you happy!” 

Lapis found it pleasing and soon joined in. She drew a picture of Steven, the person who made her feel the most happy. 

It turned out that Sadie was really good at drawing. She drew flowers and Steven, too, and then a cat. “What do you like to draw, Steven?” she asked. 

“Pleasant things, he answered. “And with practice, I’ve only gotten better at it too. I’m not so good as you, though,” he said. 

“I think your doodles are just as great,” Sadie-Peridot replied. 

“Getting better at drawing is a journey,” said Steven. “Art takes practice and a skillful hand whose talent emerged tempered in the forge of _patience_.” 

“That’s very poetic, Steven,” said Sadie-Peridot. “Poetry is art, too.” 

“Look what I drew,” said Lapis. She held up a lifelike portrait of Steven that she had finished drawing just a moment ago. 

It almost put the works of Leonardo da Vinci to shame. Vivid hues set atop muted shades of gray… The portrait of Steven was painted with finer detail than even the Mona Lisa. 

“Whoa, Lapis,” Steven said. “That belongs in a museum!” 

Lapis looked Steven dead in the eye. “ _You are my inspiration_ ,” she breathed. 

Sadie-Peridot glanced around the Barn and back at the drawings on the table. She sighed. 

“What’s the matter?” Steven asked. 

“It’s really starting to get to me,” she replied. “Being stuck as an alien.” 

Lapis grimaced a bit at that. And Steven’s face fell a bit, too. “You don’t like Gems, Sadie?” he asked. 

“No, that’s not it,” she replied. “I don’t have anything against Gem People. It’s just…the same as earlier. I miss being myself. …I miss being me.” 

Steven set down his crayon. “D’you want to do something else, Sadie?” 

Sadie paused to think about that. She looked around at all of the _morp_ projects that Lapis and the real Peridot had worked on together. She saw Lapis’s baseball gear and Peridot’s collage of toilets. It inspired her. 

“I want to try making _meep-morps_ again. I think I can make something really nice if I try,” Sadie said. 

They did, then. This time Sadie tried to sculpt a figure out of clay Peridot had taken from the field. Sadie-Peridot began to sculpt with the clay immediately and tried to make a lifelike sculpture of Steven out of it. She’d been inspired by Lapis’s work of art. 

She pressed at the clay and pushed and squeezed it with her fingers to work it into the shape and form she wanted it to be. It was about as malleable as she wanted it, though it was still a bit tough. 

“Lapis, may I have some water for this?” Sadie-Peridot asked. 

“Oh, sure. Certainly,” Lapis replied. Using her hydrokinesis, Lapis lifted water from a nearby pot and pressed it into the mound of clay Sadie was working. 

“Thanks very much,” Sadie said. 

She started to work the clay again, with much more ease this time. Sadie pressed the clay and squished it where she would to mold the mound into Steven’s small shape. 

Before too long, Sadie had gotten his torso and some of the parts of his upper body right and just the way she wanted them to be. Despite her reservations regarding her current state and circumstances, and even her dejection and upset on having become a Gemstone, Sadie smiled at her success in trying to create a beautiful work of art. 

This was going well, and she was making good progress on creating a figurine of her good friend and favorite Steven—Steven. But she ran into trouble. 

She couldn’t get his head just right. She would work on the legs as soon as she finished the Steven sculpture’s face and head, but… 

Sadie tried, but when she endeavored to form Steven’s cute nose, she pressed a bit too hard. She smooshed the sculpture’s face in by mistake, and when she tried to shape the head anew, stammering and shuddering… 

The whole sculpture fell apart in her haste. 

“Ah…” Sadie sighed. “I was close to finishing this and getting it the way I wanted it to be,” she said. “I was kind of upset that Lapis was able to draw something so well, and that I hadn’t made an artwork as good as hers…” 

“…So I wanted to show Steven I could create art just as well,” she finished. 

“…That’s totally okay, though, Sadie,” Steven started kindly. “You did so well at it, and I already know that you can create a beautiful work of art, and easily, too.” He smiled at her. “Maybe don’t burn yourself out trying to make sculptures with that level of…detail. Try something more elementary, like… 

Sadie glanced back at the pot from which Lapis had drawn the water that Sadie had asked. “Like a small, clay pot, right?” 

“Yeah!” Steven said, agreeing. “Just like that! Start simple! Try to make a pot.” 

Surprisingly, there was a potter’s wheel among the things that Steven’s family had stored in the Barn. The three worked to set it up properly, and soon Sadie tried to skillfully sculpt a pot out of the clay taken from the field. 

…It came out a bit lopsided. 

“Wabi-sabi!” said Steven. “A reflection of the true nature of life on Earth. If Peridot were here, she’d add that to her log as a lesson to take to heart on the transience and imperfection of life in this world.” 

Sadie sighed. 

“Thanks, Steven,” she said. “But I still don’t like how it turned out.” 

“I think it’s pretty,” Lapis said. “I know you think it has its flaws, but I appreciate it. I still think it’s beautiful regardless.” 

“I appreciate _that_ , Lapis, but I…” Sadie-Peridot replied. She gave a downcast glance at the floor and studied her feet. 

Though she soon perked up. “One more try!” Sadie said. “For the sake of Steven’s report to SWAPPER! This time, let’s try making art out of the doodads that Steven’s dad (and uncle) have lying around here!” 

Lapis and Steven helped her. Sadie climbed the ladder to the upper part of the barn and went to the loft to gather a few items for her project. She made several trips back and forth with a few light things, like a small metal triangle and two paint cans. The cans…had flames painted on them…? 

“Oh, I made those for her! For Peridot,” Steven said. “They were a gift to replace her lost Limb Enhancers that Amethyst threw away.” 

“That’s very kind of you, Steven,” Sadie replied with sincerity. 

“She really did like them after all,” Steven said. 

Sadie looked around and back up at the loft. “I want to use those big oil drums up there, but they’re a bit too heavy for me to lift on my own,” she said. 

“We could help you with that!” Steven chirped. “Or… better yet, you COULD lift them! All by yourself, Sadie!” 

“That’s so mean, Steven,” she said, “I told you that they’re too heavy for me…” 

“No, I meant, ‘You can lift them…with your consciousness’! Peridot is a ferrokinetic. She can lift metal objects with her mind! Just like Lapis can control water with the same. Do you see now?” 

“Oh…! But how?” 

“I think you just…” Steven began. “Just focus on the object, but try to grab it with your thoughts instead of with your hands.” 

So Sadie-Peridot looked at the two oil drums. She did just as Steven said. 

Suddenly, to her it felt as if she had extended an arm out of her own _head_ , and… 

With some doing she made the “arm” grab the first oil drum. From there, she was able to lift it with ease and with her thoughts alone. 

Sadie lifted the oil drum and levitated it over to the small pile of things that she, Steven and Lapis were assembling. She would soon realize her beautiful _morp_ project crafted from the objects that Steven’s great aunt and great uncle had saved away. Sadie lifted other things too, like an old, rusty plane propeller, a boat’s rudder, and even a kitchen sink. 

When she and the others had gathered enough items and Sadie was satisfied with what they had managed to put together, she spoke up. 

“Let’s start to assemble it all into something… nice,” she said. “Something good and fun and pleasant to look at.” 

So she, Steven, and Lapis got to work doing so. Sadie helped the most by lifting the heaviest things with her, or rather, Peridot’s body’s innate telekinetic ability. 

Sadie levitated the objects, and quite quickly Lapis and Steven stepped back to let her do her thing. She shaped the large pile of household-and-industrial-objects into the shape of a… 

Big Donut. Just like the one on Big Donut’s roof. 

Sadie interlocked all of the objects in the donut so that they would not fall apart. 

“How does it look?” she asked. “It really is something nice, right? Something… ‘good and fun and pleasant to look at’? And tasty, if it were the real thing and you could eat it. Right?” 

“Yeah!” said Steven. “Maybe if Big Donut lost its… _big donut_ , we could replace it with the _morp_ you made right here!” 

“It’s kind of nice,” Lapis said. “…What do donuts taste like, though? I’ve never tried one.” 

“A _good_ donut is supposed to be _sweet_ ; pleasant to _eat_ ; and tastier than grilled _meat_ ,” Sadie-Peridot said. “I’m a professional when it comes to donuts.” 

“…I’ve never tried meat either,” Lapis said, smiling sheepishly, “but I suppose I can imagine what it tastes like.” 

“Oh…” Sadie murmured. 

“Well, I think it’s nice,” Steven said. “…You’ve really outdone yourself, Sadie! This is easily the biggest ‘donut’ you’ve ever made!” 

“Heh, well, thanks, Steven!” Sadie-Peridot said and she stood on one leg and propped herself up against the donut with her arm. 

Unfortunately, the donut wasn’t supported by anything, so… 

It fell over… 

The objects comprising the donut scattered and slid in all directions from the point of impact. Sadie’s face fell, too. 

“Oh…” Steven murmured. Lapis grimaced. 

And Sadie wept. “I don’t like this, Steven! I’m not… I’m literally not _myself_!” she cried suddenly. 

“Oh, Sadie,” Steven said, and he hurried to embrace her. He pulled her into a tender hug and patted her back. She continued to sob. 

“What am I supposed to do??” she asked. “I _want_ to go back to normal, but that mean _machine_ won’t undo what it did to us and put us back to the way we were! It hurts so much, Steven! It hurts my heart that that _thing_ suddenly messed up my life and literally made me into _someone_ _else_ … …someone that I’m totally not!” 

“…I’ll help you,” Lapis spoke up. “I’ll show you that it’s not bad at all to be a Gem, Sadie. And we’ll make sure that you feel better when we’re all done.” 

****** 

Lapis led Sadie and Steven out the front of the Barn. She smiled knowingly at Steven and nodded—Steven returned the smile right away. He knew what she had in mind. 

Together, she and Steven helped Sadie-Peridot up and onto Lapis’s back. 

“What are we doing?” Sadie asked. 

“I want to take you flying,” Lapis told her. She beamed at her ear-to-ear and Sadie tilted her head. 

“You can fly?” she asked. 

“With my _waterwings_ , yes,” Lapis replied. 

“W-w…” Sadie started. “…Where are they?” 

“In my Gem,” Lapis replied. “But I want to bring them out and give them a good stretch. Also, it’ll be fun to take you for a pleasant ride,” she said. “Two asteroids, one Gem Warship’s plasma cannon’s laser.” 

Sadie gave a bemused look. “I don’t really get that expression, although I kinda do, but…” 

“Here,” Lapis said. “Hold on to my shoulders as tightly as you can.” So Sadie clasped the round of Lapis’s shoulders as tightly as she was able. 

“Good!” Lapis chirped. “Are you ready, then?” 

“…R-ready?” Sadie began, though… 

…Lapis summoned her wings in an instant and with once quick _lift_ pushed off of the ground with Sadie atop her back. Steven jumped up high as Lapis took off and she caught his arms with her own outstretched hands. 

Sadie screamed. She hadn’t expected that Lapis really _could_ fly and that she really was going to take her for a ride…! 

Lapis flew higher and higher, and Sadie held on to Lapis’s back for dear life. She hadn’t stopped wailing at all, and she cried out all the more as the ground fled further and further away. 

“You guys are nuts!!” she yelled. 

“Hang on so you don’t fall off!” Lapis replied, grinning. 

Sadie hung on even more tightly and grimaced. She hid her face in Lapis’s back and her nose brushed up against the smooth of Lapis’s Gem. 

“Lapis, Steven, I don’t like this!” she cried. 

“Don’t worry, Sadie!” Steven called from below them in Lapis’s grasp, “Lapis won’t let you fall!” 

Sadie looked below them at the ground far underneath. They flew over the railroad track that stretched off into the countryside far beyond the hills… Over the woods below… and soon out to the sky above the road that led off into parts unknown. Sadie’s wailing quieted a bit. 

She whimpered a still cry and cautiously peeked out over Lapis’s shoulder. Lapis turned her head and smiled at her, while Steven giggled happily below them in Lapis’s arms. 

“Don’t worry,” she said. “It’s like Steven told you. I’ve got you and I won’t let you fall.” 

“Ah…ah,” whispered Sadie. “…Okay…” 

Lapis flew faster. Before too long they arrived in the skies above Beach City. 

“Welcome home!” Lapis said as she glided over the sea and into town. 

“It must be nice to be back in town after going through what’d happened to you,” Steven spoke. 

“W-We’re there already…?” Sadie asked. It was surprising to her because the hill the barn stood on was so far from town. 

“Lapis flies fast,” Steven said. 

“Oh…” 

Steven glanced around at the “tiny” town below. “We’re so high up!” he exclaimed. “Look, Sadie!” he cried, “We can see both your house _and_ the Big Donut from here!” 

“O-oh!” she began. “Yeah, we really can…” 

“Do you like it so far, Sadie?” Lapis asked. “Flying?” 

“It’s still a little scary,” Sadie answered. “The people way down there look like ants…” 

“You’ll get used to it! Just give it a bit longer,” Steven told her. 

Sadie tried to accustom herself to being so far off the ground. She still clung to Lapis’s back, though she’d relaxed her grip just a bit. She tried to shake the fear of falling. It would be okay, she thought. Lapis Lazuli wouldn’t let her slip off and fall. 

She looked about the air around them. The sun was setting far off to the west, and the sky darkened as the sun fell below the horizon. 

And suddenly, Sadie felt her feelings change inside. Exhilaration overtook her as the sensation of speeding through the air set in. Sadie grinned… and suddenly she found herself laughing! 

What a joy it was to take flight and ride by mineral wings made of wet! _Amazing! …Actually, it’s all just so wonderful_ , Sadie mused. She smiled and laughed again too as Lapis rode across the evening, twilight sky. The sunset aglow with tawny orange was as beautiful as the _skyride_ was exciting. Perhaps this was something Peridot and Lapis did lots together, and Peridot's body was simply remembering what fun it could be. Either way… 

“It’s not so bad after all, huh?” Lapis asked, tittering. 

“It’s not bad at all!” Sadie said. “It’s amazing! It’s wonderful!” 

Lapis smiled and flapped her wings, pushing them forward even faster. Sadie hollered and cheered as Lapis rose higher and onward… The ocean Gem flew higher still and pushed through the puffy clouds above them. Sadie reached out as they passed through the clouds and felt at their shape as they moved through them. The cloud felt like fluff—and almost like snow, but warmer. 

…They soared through the sky and across what was the horizon only moments ago. Soon, though, Lapis decided to head back. 

“Was it fun flying?” Lapis asked. “I hope you’ve enjoyed it!” 

“It’s great!” Sadie yelled over the sound of the air rushing by them. 

“I’ll fly us back home now, though—We’ll return to the Barn.” 

Steven grinned and Lapis gently turned and flew towards home. 

****** 

It was now nightfall. The sun had set completely and a cool evening, fall breeze blew by with the scent of autumn and falling, tree leaves. 

Lapis flew to the front of the Barn and hovered a few feet above the ground to let Steven down. She touched her feet to the soil and she and Steven helped Sadie-Peridot off of Lapis’s back. 

“ _Terra firma_!” Steven said, “But when we were in the air, did you like it?” 

“I’m a bit sad it’s _over_ ,” Sadie murmured. 

Steven chuckled. “I’m so glad you liked flying with Lapis,” he said. “It’s something I love to do with her, too.” 

“Feeling better, Sadie?” Lapis asked kindly. 

“Lots better,” Sadie answered. “Thank you.” 

Lapis gave a gentle smile. 

“You know…” Sadie began, “I notice now… that even though I’m not in my own body, that life…” 

“Yes?” Steven and Lapis asked in unison. 

“…That experiencing life, and living and feeling; just even… _being_ … It all feels exactly the same to me as when I was human and in my own body. Living life is the same for Gems and humans alike.” Sadie said. She smiled. 

Steven smiled also. “Oh, Sadie…” he sniffed. “That’s so… _beautiful_ ,” he said. He really meant it. “And I’m both Gem _and_ human, too. What you just said—It’s totes _completely_ congruous with what I live and feel. So I know you’re right!” He giggled. 

“…But Steven, if you’re neither one nor the other, but both; and since you’ve never been swapped from a human’s body into a Gem’s, or vice-versa, would you still be able to tell?” Sadie asked. 

“My heart tells me it’s so—that you’re right. So I know you are,” he said. 

Sadie tilted her head. She nodded. “Okay, then, yes,” she replied. “Then it’s true.” 

“…What will you do now, Steven?” Lapis asked. 

“Well… since today’s over and we’ve spent the time together that we have, I guess it’s time for me to head back to the Temple.” 

“Ah, that’s right…” Sadie spoke. “You have to tell that robot what we’ve done and how I’ve learned what it is to live as someone else.” 

“Right,” Steven said. He thought for a moment. “Hey,” he spoke, and Steven spread his arms. Lapis and Sadie came close and embraced him. They hugged. 

“It was really nice spending time with you two today,” Steven whispered. Lapis laughed and Sadie giggled. 

Soon, they parted and broke the hug. Steven nodded and turned to make his way to the Warp Pad. 

“Goodnight, you guys! I’ll see you soon!” Steven called. “Right now, I have to go back to give my report to SWAPPER!” 

****** 

Steven appeared in the Crystal Temple. He stepped off of the Temple Warp Pad and into the Beach House. 

Steven began to look for the SWAPPER. 

But the SWAPPER found him first. 

“ _Administrator Steven Quartz Universe_ ,” it said, “ _It’s pleasant to see you again._ ” It was sitting in the space between the living area and the kitchenette area. 

“Ah, hi, SWAPPER,” Steven replied. 

“ _What is your report today?_ ” it asked him. “ _How did things go with_ _User Human Sadie Miller? Has she experienced what it is to be a Peridot-class Gemstone?_ ” 

“She did,” Steven replied. “We made art today with Lapis Lazuli, someone whom Peridot is very close to. Sadie felt really upset about being put in Peridot’s body… but Lapis took her and me flying. We had a lot of fun soaring the skies… and when we got back, Sadie told us that she observed that living as a Gem feels exactly the same as living as a human being.” 

“ _This is a groundbreaking finding,_ ” the SWAPPER said. “ _In fact, the SHIFT between User Human Sadie Miller and User Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG is the first known SHIFT between a human and a Gemstone. For it to be reported that humans and Gemstones both experience consciousness in the same way is truly an important discovery. I am inclined to transmit this data and these findings to the Gemstone Homeworld Universe Net. I wish to proceed in doing this, but as you are the Administrator of this particular SHIFT, I am also inclined to ask for your permission to do so. Shall I transmit this data back to Gemstone Homeworld, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe_?” 

“…I’d like it if you please didn’t…” Steven said. It would be for the best that Gem Homeworld knew as little as possible about what was going on on Earth. 

“ _…Understood, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe,_ ” the SWAPPER said. “ _I shall save this data for posterity and for future reference. However, I will not send it to Gem Homeworld’s Universe Network._ ” 

“Thanks,” Steven replied. 

“ _Only one more report is required before I SHIFT all users of this SHIFT back to their original body. I look forward to tomorrow’s report, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe,”_ SWAPPER stated. It trotted away to rest back in its usual place in the loft atop Steven’s bed, and when it climbed back into his bed SWAPPER put itself into its “standby” mode. 

“Hm,” Steven murmured. 

Steven gently placed the SWAPPER on the loft floor. He was careful not to disturb it, and having the SWAPPER rest on the floor was safer than letting it sleep on his bed and rolling off onto the floor below if Steven himself rolled over in his sleep. 

The Temple Gate parted and opened to reveal Peridot-Pearl and the expanse of Pearl’s room behind her. 

“Steven,” she called. 

“Oh, hi there, Peridot,” he answered. He made his way over to her. “How are you today?” he asked. 

“I’m fine, I guess…” she replied, while the Temple Gate closed behind her. It was strange that Peridot was then speaking to him in Pearl’s voice, Steven thought. They had such differing personalities… 

“How is my body?” she asked. “It’s durable, but is it still unhurt?” 

“Your body is fine,” said Steven. “Sadie’s still in it—she and I had a lot of fun today with Lapis; Lapis took us flying as the sun was setting.” 

“Oh, I love flying with Lapis!” Peridot said. She frowned. “But I _can’t_ now because Pearl’s too tall and _gangly_ to fit on Lapis’s back.” 

“You’ll be able to fly with Lapis again really soon,” Steven told her. “Tomorrow I’ll be spending time with you and ‘administrating’ your personal SHIFT Session. Right afterwards, I’ll file my last report with SWAPPER and then he’ll switch you, Sadie and Pearl back to normal.” 

“That’s a relief,” Peridot said. “I can’t stand staying like this much longer. I miss my body and my Gem…” 

“We’ll work it out tomorrow,” Steven replied. 

“Okay,” Peridot told him. “I’m going to go to sleep on the couch again,” she continued, and strode over to the living area’s sofa. “That way, I’ll be ready to spend the day with you during our session tomorrow and you can come and wake me for it right away.” 

Steven found Peridot-Pearl a pillow and a blanket and when she lay on the living room couch, he gently tucked her in. 

“Goodnight, Peridot,” Steven murmured. He hugged her tightly. 

“Goodnight, Steven,” she said. 

Afterwards, Steven tucked himself in, too. He sat up in bed and texted Pearl a good night as well. She messaged him right back and let him know that, though struggling to do so, she had managed to force herself to eat again that night for Sadie’s sake. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Steven said aloud as he texted Pearl that very same response. 

Tomorrow, he would be spending a day with Peridot-in-Pearl’s-body. 

**END OF CHAPTER III**


	4. Day with Peridot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven helps Peridot-Pearl today.
> 
> Peridot is upset that she is the last to be assisted by Steven, though.
> 
> But Steven shows her what he and Pearl usually do together: combat training…and the fun mother-son things that Pearl and Steven sometimes share. They lose track of time engrossed in bonding. Peridot has fun, too.

_Steven helps Peridot-Pearl today._

_Peridot is upset that she is the last to be assisted by Steven, though._

_But Steven shows her what he and Pearl usually do together: combat training…and the fun mother-son things that Pearl and Steven sometimes share. They lose track of time engrossed in bonding. Peridot has fun, too._

_In a heartwarming end to the conflict the story presented, Peridot is happy after all that she was the last to spend a day with Steven, and even says, “Thank you so much, Steven… You saved the best for last, just for me.”_

_(This is the end of the conflict, and the fifth, final chapter presents the story’s denouement. That’s the next one.)_

****** 

“Steven.” 

Steven stirred in bed and groaned as he woke. He’d been dreaming of the fun times he had spent with Sadie and Lapis yesterday, but… 

…Ah, it was Peridot. 

Peridot, or rather, Peridot-in-Pearl’s-body stood over Steven. She was crouching beside his bed, and it certainly seemed that she was the one who had stirred him awake. 

“G’morning, Peridot…” Steven mumbled sleepily. He rubbed his eyes and tried to shake the sleep fog from his head. 

“Are you ready to spend today with me?” Peridot asked. “The sooner we do that, the sooner this thing will let us go back to normal,” she said and pointed to the SWAPPER. 

“What time is it?” Steven asked. It was still dark. 

“3:40 AM.” 

“That’s still a little too early,” Steven groaned. “I can get up in a few hours, but right now I still haven’t slept for long enough…” 

“Oh, s-sorry, Steven.” 

“It’s fine.” 

Peridot went back to the couch where she had slept that night. Steven turned over under the covers and shut his eyes. 

It felt as if only a few moments had passed, but Steven woke again at half-past 6:00 AM. He yawned and stretched and left the bed. 

When he looked, Steven found that SWAPPER wasn’t in its usual place beside his bed. He wondered where it could have gone. 

Steven descended the loft stairs and found Peridot-Pearl asleep on the living area couch. 

“Peridot,” he whispered, “Hey, Peridot!” 

Peridot-Pearl groaned softly as she stirred and opened her eyes. “Good morning again, Steven,” she said. 

“Are you ready to start our day together?” he asked. 

“Is it time for that already?” Peridot asked. “I was ready for it earlier, but now I feel like I’m too tired…” 

“Since you’re a Gem and don’t need sleep, you should be fine if you get up and engage yourself in something,” Steven said. “That’s still true even if you’re in Pearl’s body, you know?” 

“Oh. Yeah, that’s right.” 

Peridot-Pearl rose from her bed and she stood and faced him. 

“What are we going to do together today?” she asked. 

“I want to spend the day sparring. Training with you the way Pearl and I normally do together,” he said. 

“Oh!” 

“But first I have to shower ‘n’ stuff,” Steven continued. 

“Oh.” 

So Steven left to the bathroom to groom himself and returned to Peridot-Pearl when he was done. She was sitting on the couch now. 

“Ready to go!” he told her. 

“All right,” she replied. “Where to?” 

“We’ll go to the Ruins,” Steven said, “since it’s where Pearl takes us for training.” 

So they stood on the Temple Warp Pad and disappeared in a pillar of light. 

****** 

The Ruins looked as though they were in better condition than when Steven had last visited them. He and Peridot-Pearl stepped off of the Warp Pad there and surveyed the area. 

“What happened here?” Steven asked. “It’s like a Gem contractor came through and fixed the place up.” 

Peridot-Pearl spied something moving a ways away from them, “Look, Steven!” she cried, pointing. “It’s…!” 

It was the SWAPPER. The machine was merging parts of a large stone pillar together using what looked like a tractor beam that proceeded from the front of its body's “forehead”, from between its eyes. 

“SWAPPER!” Steven yelled, “Hey, _SWAPPER_! What’re you doing?” 

SWAPPER turned to face the pair. “ _Hello there, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe and User Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG. I hope that you both find today well,”_ it said. _“I shall answer your question: I am fixing this Gem-made structure and am attempting to restore it to its undamaged, former state.”_

“Why are you doing that?” Steven asked. “I thought your only function was to change a person’s body with someone else’s.” 

“ _The model of SWAPPER that I am of was designed with secondary functions, such as the ability to renovate broken structures; structures such as the one we are now standing within._ ” 

“I’m sure that was a big selling point back when you things were being sold on Homeworld,” Peridot muttered. 

“ _While_ _myself and other units like myself were created only for official, government use, I am certain that if SWAPPER Units were sold to the general public, my ability to repair would have been a fine selling point,_ ” it said. “ _Either way, I am happy to fix these ruins, as it would benefit the Gemstone folk that visit this place._ ” 

Peridot scowled at the machine. 

And SWAPPER noticed. “ _Is something the matter, User Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG?_ ” it asked in sincerity. 

“Hurry up and change us back!” Peridot yelled. 

“ _I shall,_ ” SWAPPER replied. “ _I shall as soon as you and Administrator Steven Quartz Universe complete a day of activity together, and you, from this, experience what it is like to be a Pearl. Following this, I require that Administrator Steven Quartz Universe file a report with me regarding your activity today together, and then afterwards I shall SHIFT your mind back into your own body. I will do the same for the other two Users as well._ ” 

Peridot let out a “ _Hmph_!” and scowled all the more at the SWAPPER. 

“Don’t worry, Peridot,” Steven soothed. “Let’s get to training. We’ll go and do what Pearl and I usually do here, and afterwards, SWAPPER will change you, Sadie and Pearl back to normal. That sounds good, right?” 

“Fine,” Peridot sighed. “Steven, what do we do first?” 

“Let’s see your weapon!” he said. “Summon your Spear! You’re Pearl now, so you have to fight like her. That means you’ll come at me with your spear!” 

Steven made a long, lunging leap backwards; he flipped in the air, somersaulting, and stood across from Peridot, on the other side of the Battle Ground Ruins. “Ready!?” he called. “Summon your Spear and show me your battle stance! Let me hear your battle _cry_! This is the Battle Ground, so take your best shot! Give it your all, and—” 

“Steven, how do I summon her Spear?” Peridot asked. Steven fell on his face for some reason. 

He stood on his feet again. “Um…” he began. “I guess you just focus on the Spear…in your mind. Concentrate on it and imagine it… and its shape. Reach toward Pearl’s Gem and _into_ it, and pull the spear out.” 

Peridot tried to do what Steven had said to. She squeezed her eyes shut and focused as hard as she could. 

“It’s not working, Steven…” she called. 

“Hm…” Steven wondered what Peridot could be doing wrong trying to summon Pearl’s Spear. 

“Oh! Peridot, think of it like your ferrokinesis! Try to imagine Pearl’s Spear as a piece of metal that you’re trying to manipulate with your mind! And then just pull it out of your Gem!” 

“Oh! That sounds a lot easier to do,” she replied. So Peridot tried to. She put her hand near Pearl’s Gem, and in an instant the Spear began to manifest. Peridot grabbed it immediately, and she gracefully clasped the spear’s handle by its base and pulled the weapon right out of her Gem. 

“Easy!” she said. 

“Wow, great job, Peridot!” Steven called, with stars in his eyes. “That’s an amazing first step toward living as Pearl for our day together—summoning her weapon!” 

“All right! What’s next, Steven?” 

“Next, we spar!” 

“How?” 

“Try and strike me!” said Steven. “Pearl is graceful and fights like a ballet-dancing Lonely Blade!” 

“…Who’s Lonely Blade?” 

“He’s this sword fighter from a Japanese-made movie I like. He’s—um, it’s not really important! Just try to hit me!” 

So Peridot charged at Steven, tapping into the agility, grace, and strength Pearl’s body possessed. She cleared the distance between them in a matter of seconds and she tried to swing at Steven. 

“Heh. That won’t work,” Steven sang. He made another graceful leap backwards and floated gently through the air. 

Peridot chased him down and swung the spear again, but this time Steven blocked the blow with his Shield. 

“Good, Peridot,” Steven said, “But if you want to land a blow, you’ll need to try a bit harder than that! Try to be faster, too!” 

He somersaulted through the air and landed at the far end of the Battle Ground Ruins from where they were standing at the outset, to begin with—the opposite end of the battlefield. 

“Now I’m where you were when we first started,” Steven said. “Come and get me!” 

“What’s that thing that Pearl does?” Peridot asked. “She makes holographic clones of herself from her Gem to fight against her when she spars… or even to battle beside her in combat. Shouldn’t I try that? It would totally make it easier to land a hit!” 

“No, don’t do that,” Steven called. “We, um…had an accident with one of Pearl’s holograms a while ago,” he said. “Since you aren’t really her, you might not know how to use them.” 

“What’s that, Steven?” Peridot asked, cutting a Hologram Pearl free from Pearl’s Gem at their forehead, “You said I should or I _shouldn’t_?” 

“Peridot!” 

“INITIATING BATTLE ROUTINE!” the Hologram Pearl droned. 

Steven groaned. “Peridot, I said that was dangerous!” 

The Holo-Pearl brandished a spear and rushed at Steven. It closed the distance between them even faster than Peridot had managed to and tried to drop the head of its spear on Steven’s smaller body. Steven sidestepped the attack with ease and rolled around the Holo-Pearl’s back. He cut through its body without effort with the edge of his Shield. 

“DEFEAT ACCEPTED!” the Holo-Pearl droned and vanished in a flurry of sparkling light. 

“That’s dangerous, Peridot!” Steven called. 

But Peridot-Pearl had manifested three more Holo-Pearls. 

“Get ‘im!” she said and pointed at Steven. 

“ _Geez,_ ” Steven muttered. He tossed his shield at them as if it were a boomerang and it cut through them and returned to Steven’s hand. 

“DEFEAT ACCEPTED!” the Holo-Pearls spoke mechanically, and disappeared also. 

“No more of those, Peridot,” Steven said. “Pearl reprogrammed them to make them safer, but since you’re not her, it might be safer not to summon… —Peridot?” 

She had disappeared. 

“Where did…” 

From above Steven Peridot _loosed her battle cry_. “KYAAAAAA!” she yelled, and Steven summoned his Shield to avoid being cut. Peridot put all of Pearl’s body’s weight into the attack, but Steven, with-Shield-in-hand and with deep deftness, parried the blow. He batted her away with a swift stroke of the arm. 

Peridot felt backwards onto her backside. “ _Oww_ …” 

“We’re only sparring, you know,” Steven said. “You could have really hurt me by mistake.” 

“Sorry, Steven” Peridot said, “I think I got carried away by the prospect of fighting… It’s only one of the first real fights I’ve had as a Crystal Gem! Even if it is just sparring… 

“I’m sorry…” she finished. 

“…Aw, Peridot, it’s fine,” Steven said. “You know what…? Let’s do something else.” 

“Hm?” 

“I said, ‘Let’s try something else,’ Peridot,” he said, suggesting it to her again. “Pearl teaches me how to fight, but we also do other things together.” Steven helped her to her feet. 

“Things…like what?” 

“Fun stuff that brings us closer together. Like, we could watch a _movie_ together, like _Lonely Blade IV_! Or we could fold clothes together; sometimes I help Pearl do that.” 

“Oh.” 

“Peridot, you wanna bake cookies? I bet you would like the chocolate chip kind!” 

“Sure, Steven. All of that sounds like fun!” 

“Hey, SWAPPER, did you see all of that?” Steven asked. 

The SWAPPER had been facing away from them the entire time, and’d been busy with repairing the Ruins. 

“ _I’m sorry, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe. I had been preoccupied with my renovating the Ruins._ ” 

“Oh, that’s just GREAT,” Peridot grumbled. 

“It’s _okay_ , Peridot,” Steven told her, soothing. “Even if SWAPPER did watch our bout, he would still ask me to report to him what we had done together, either way.” 

“ _That is correct,_ ” said SWAPPER. “ _I would require your report regardless._ ” 

“That thing is more rigid with rules than even _I_ could ever have been,” Peridot muttered. 

Steven scooped the SWAPPER up in his arms. “Come on. Let’s head back to the Temple.” 

****** 

“Home sweet home!” Steven said. He, Peridot, and SWAPPER had returned to the Beach House via the Battle Ground Ruins’ Warp Pad. 

“What do you want to do first, Steven?” Peridot-Pearl asked. 

“Let’s do something Pearl doesn’t mind doing and that I should do to help out a bit more,” Steven said. “We hadn’t cleaned the floors for a few days because of what SWAPPER’s done.” Steven set SWAPPER down and it ambled up into the loft and jumped into Steven’s bed. “Let’s do that, if you don’t mind doing it alongside me,” Steven continued. “It would be good to clean the floors.” 

“Sure, then,” Peridot agreed. “I’ll help you.” 

So they found a broom and dustpan that were set aside, and Steven and Peridot got to work on sweeping the living area of the Beach House. 

“This broom thing isn't so differernt from a mop," said Peridot. "I remember the first time I used one… I tried to clean the floor with its handle instead of its head: It only put scratches on the flooring and didn’t make it any cleaner at all, of course…” 

“You were still learning about the way things are done on Earth, back then,” Steven said encouragingly. “You still are, even today.” 

“Yeah.” 

Peridot gingerly swept the dust across the floor and Steven brought the dustpan close to where she swept to catch it. 

Peridot noticed something as she watched Steven below her. “It’s so strange to be this tall without my Limb Enhancers,” she said. “You know, I thought about that a lot when I first became Pearl, but I guess I just got used to it, huh? Now I’m noticing it all over again!” 

“Did you think of it while we were sparring?” Steven asked. 

“No, I didn’t, even back then. But it’s so noticeable now, since I…sorta tower over you.” 

“Ahahahahaha!” Steven laughed. “I guess you would notice it because of that, then!” 

Steven and Peridot were soon finished sweeping the floors. They had swept the living area, the kitchenette, the loft, the bathroom hallway, and finally the space around the Temple Warp Pad. Even though it had been nearly five days since the Beach House was swept, there wasn’t as much dust… as Steven had thought there would have needed to be swept away. He was pleased that they had finished their chore and could then move on to the next one. 

“Next, we’ll mop,” Steven said. 

“Sure,” replied Peridot. 

Steven readied the mop bucket and filled it with water from the bathroom bathtub. 

“We’ll mix in the right measure of wood cleaner. It’s important to not use too much, but if we add too little, the solution won’t clean the floors as well.” 

“I see,” Peridot spoke. 

“Here,” said Steven. “You swept first, so I’ll mop this time.” 

“I can help, too. I don’t have to let you do it all, all by yourself.” 

“Hmm… Well, okay,” Steven said. 

“I can do half of the house, and you may finish the other half of it, if you’d like. How’s that, then?” he continued, asking. 

“It sounds fine,” Peridot said. 

*** 

First, Steven started by mopping the loft floor where his bed was. He was careful to move everything that he had, that which was placed on the floor there, so he could mop underneath all of it. This time he let SWAPPER stay on his bed out of concern that it would get wet (and by extension, _damaged_ ) if he placed it below the bed on the floor. 

Next, he mopped the living area floor, including the parts around and below the couch there. 

“Is it my turn yet?” Peridot-Pearl called to him. 

“You wanna go ahead?” 

“Yeah!” she replied. 

“…Peridot, I’m glad you have an interest even in doing household chores! Does that come from your drive for adjusting to life on Earth? Or is that Pearl’s body’s influence, stemming from Pearl’s desire to keep everything clean and tidy?” 

“I’m sure it’s just me,” Peridot said. “I want to help you.” 

Steven smiled and handed her the mop, and Peridot finished the kitchenette and the space around the Temple Gate. 

“Done!” she said then. “Now, what’s next?” 

****** 

“Steven, this is really high up…” Peridot whispered. 

The two were on the Temple’s hand where the Beach House’s laundry machines were set up. 

“You go flying even higher up with Lapis sometimes, though,” said Steven. 

“That’s different,” Peridot said. “Lapis is careful. She wouldn’t let me fall off of her back.” 

“Hm.” 

“And what if you fall? From here, I mean—You’re human, so you’re _squishy_ and would get hurt.” 

“I can control the speed at which I fall, just like my Mom could,” Steven replied. 

“But what did you do before you were able to slow your fall in midair like that?” 

“I was careful. Like Lapis!” 

Steven and Peridot were washing Steven’s laundry that needed to be done. 

“So, now you’ve seen how the modern humans of today make their clothes clean after they get dirty. Pretty neat, huh?” he asked. 

“Yeah. It’s really interesting,” Peridot said as she watched Steven’s clothes spin in the washer. “It _is_ neat. What’s this called again? A front… um, front…” 

“It’s a ‘front-load washer’. This thing here next to it is a top-loading dryer. When the clothes are done washing in the, uh, washer, I’ll put them in the dryer.” 

“For what?” 

“To dry them, of course!” 

“Oh! That’s why it’s called a ‘dryer’, then.” 

*** 

Steven and Peridot took the Temple’s hand’s Warp Pad back into the Temple and Peridot clasped _her_ hands together in excitement. 

“So this is what it’s like to live as Pearl, then?” she asked. “I’m glad it’s gone so well! I thought it would be a huge burden to spend a day doing the things that she usually does, but it’s actually kind of fun!” 

“I’m glad you like it, Peridot,” spoke Steven. “Pearl works hard to keep me safe, and she makes sure that I have clean clothes to wear and a meal to eat three times every day. She works _just_ as hard to keep the house clean too.” 

“Pearl really cares a lot about you,” Peridot said. “I can tell because she’s so passionate about making sure that all of your needs are met.” 

“Yeah. She really does.” 

Peridot was silent for a moment. “Steven… what do you want to do next?” 

Steven pressed a finger to his cheek in thought. “Hm… Oh! That’s right. The first thing I suggested that we do together was that we bake something. Cookies, I said. Remember?” 

“Yeah, that’s right.” 

“Ah, sorry, Peridot… I got so distracted with all of our chores, I forgot that I suggested that you and I do something fun to _start_ with. Let’s bake a big batch of tasty cookies!” 

****** 

In the kitchen, Steven set out the ingredients for the cookies on the countertop and placed the utensils and dishware that they would need where everything was within reach. 

“It’ll take all of this stuff that I’ve laid out here to make a batch of toll house cookies,” Steven said. 

“‘Toll house’ cookies?” Peridot was confused. “Aren’t they called ‘chocolate chip’?” 

“It’s the same kind of cookie,” Steven replied, “It just has more than one name.” 

“Oh!” 

Steven ratted off the ingredients for what they would bake. 

“2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 

1 teaspoon baking soda 

1 teaspoon salt 

2 sticks of butter, softened 

3/4 cup granulated sugar 

3/4 cup packed brown sugar 

1 teaspoon vanilla extract 

2 large eggs 

2 cups semi-sweet chocolate morsels 

“And then we bake it all for nine minutes at 375 degrees Fahrenheit,” Steven finished. 

As they mixed the ingredients, Peridot-Pearl spoke up. “This is an _endeavor_ ,” she said. “It feels almost even like I’m working with dangerous chemicals. I wonder—how precisely do we have to measure each ingredient to successfully bake these… cookies? Is it like… that if we put in one drop too many of a certain ingredient, this batch would fail and we would have to start all over again?” 

“It’s not nearly so demanding,” Steven replied. “But being a baker isn’t all that different from working as a chemist,” he continued. “The biggest difference, though, is that bakers get to eat what they concoct!” 

“ _Hmm…_ ” 

When every ingredient had been combined, Steven helped Peridot drop the completed cookie dough onto a baking sheet by rounded tablespoon. 

“We’re all set!” Steven said when they had finished. Peridot opened the oven and Steven slipped the cookies inside onto the rack in the oven’s center. “All that’s left to do is to wait for these to bake, and then we can enjoy them.” 

They retired to the couch nearby. Steven sat down and patted the spot next to him to invite Peridot to take a load off too. 

“Sit down; it’s nice,” he said. 

So Peridot sat. 

“Is this how you and Pearl normally spend _every_ day?” she asked. 

“No. Most of the time I’d go hang out in town with the other kids my age. Sometimes, she and I would go out on a Gem Mission also, instead of hanging out this way...” 

“Oh, I see. Regardless, it’s nice to spend time with you like this, Steven…” Peridot said. 

“Of course, Peridot. I feel the same way.” 

“What can we do to pass the time while we wait?” Peridot asked. 

“Let’s do a puzzle,” Steven suggested. 

Steven found a jigsaw puzzle with 500 cardboard pieces. He and Peridot briskly cleared off the living area coffee table. 

They spread the pieces out on the table’s surface and Steven decided how they should start. 

“Let’s look for the pieces that make up the puzzles’ edges—its four corners and its four sides. That way, we can start afterward to look for pieces that will fill in the puzzle’s _picture_.” 

The picture in question was one of a riverside flour mill. It looked quaint, Steven said, and he and Peridot began their search for the puzzle’s edge and corner pieces. 

Before too long, the kitchen timer chimed. 

“Cookies are done!” Steven exclaimed. “Not such an endeavor after all to mix them, _make_ them, and then let the dough bake, huh?” 

“Yeah. It’s a lot easier than I thought it would be,” Peridot said. “To mix them, make them, and then _bake_ them…” 

“We’ll take them out of the oven and let them cool on the baking sheet for two minutes, and then we’ll transfer them to a wire rack to cool there and set completely.” 

*** 

When the cookies had cooled, Steven took one into a napkin and offered it to Peridot. 

“I didn’t touch it with my hands, either,” he said. “Wanna bite? It would be your very first chocolate chip cookie since you’ve moved to Earth!” 

“It would be my first chocolate chip cookie _ever_ ,” Peridot corrected. 

“Yeah! But, oh… That’s right; Pearl doesn’t eat. She hates to.” 

“You say something again?” Peridot-Pearl asked as she munched on the cookie. 

“Peridot! No! Pearl doesn’t, um… do that with her body!” 

“I already went through the trouble of _shapeshifting_ a digestive system while we were waiting and doing the puzzle,” she replied. “Seems like a waste, if I didn’t try at least one of these.” 

“But what will Pearl do when…the cookie makes its way through her body to—?” 

“She’ll face it head on like the Gem warrior she is, I guess? I dunno.” 

“That’s so irresponsible…” 

“Meh.” 

Steven shook his head, but what was done was done. 

Instead of worrying about Peridot eating the cookies, he and Peridot made themselves comfortable in the loft, and Steven played the movie they would watch. They sat before Steven’s bed, and Steven and Peridot wrapped themselves in a blanket. 

Steven decided that they should share the cookies they had just baked and eat them together after all, though he felt sorry if Pearl would be angry at having to use the Beach House toilet sometime in the near future… 

At first they sat side by side, but close to the end of the movie, Peridot cuddled Steven close to her like a teddy bear. His back pressed up against her chest. 

“I can’t believe it was the janitor all along that killed Lonely Blade’s brother!” Peridot-Pearl said when the movie had ended and the credits began to roll. Her face had cookie crumbs on it, and there were crumbs in her lap also. 

“That’s such a plot twist!” she continued, “And that movie was almost as fun and interesting as _Camp Pining Hearts_ is.” 

“Oh, that’s really quite the compliment toward the movie, coming from you,” Steven said. He really meant it. 

Peridot turned her head and glanced at the night sky through the window of Steven’s loft. “Steven!” she said. “It’s already nighttime!” 

“Really?” he asked. Steven looked at the sky outside, just as Peridot had. “It really is! Wow. Time sure flies when you’re having fun.” 

“What’ll we do now?” Peridot-Pearl asked. 

“Right now I can give my final report to SWAPPER, and when I do that, he’ll put you, Pearl, and Sadie back in your own body.” 

“Oh, right!” Peridot said. Though she was enthusiastic at hearing that at first, somehow her face fell. “But that means I wouldn’t be able to spend time with you like this anymore,” she whispered. 

“What do you mean? When you’re back in your own body we can spend time together again just like we did today.” 

“It would be different, then, though,” Peridot said. “As Pearl… it’s hard for me to explain it and how it feels, Steven. It’s like she—her Gem—is hardwired to love you. I care about you so much, Steven. I love you, too. But those feelings of love and care toward you… they feel so much more intense in Pearl’s heart.” 

“Oh, Peridot, I hadn’t… I didn’t realize it,” Steven told her softly. 

“…She’s not just some object,” Peridot said. “That’s how the Gems of Gem Homeworld look at Pearls—as just someone’s property…” 

“But Pearl isn’t just a ‘thing’,” Peridot continued. “She’s a person with a heart—a real, loving heart—with feelings, and a mind…and her own personal tastes too,” she said, and as she spoke Pearl’s body’s stomach rumbled. 

“Yeah. That’s right, Peridot.” 

“I’m sorry I looked down on her,” Peridot said. “I will tell her that when we next see each other.” 

“That’s _wonderful_ , Peridot,” Steven replied again. “And I’m sure SWAPPER would be pleased to hear that too.” 

Peridot nodded. “Thank you so much, Steven… You saved the best for last, just for me.” 

Steven smiled at her warmly. “That just leaves the final report to be given. SWAPPER?” he called. He turned and saw the SWAPPER resting on his bed as it often did. “SWAPPER?” 

“ _Yes, what do you need?_ ” SWAPPER asked, waking from its standby mode. 

“It’s the end of the day, and Peridot and I are finished with what we were doing,” said Steven. 

“ _Is it? Are you?_ ” the SWAPPER asked. It glanced outside the loft window. “ _Oh, it really is. I must have fallen asleep._ ” 

“I think we all lost track of time,” Steven said. “Is it okay if I give you my report of what took place with the ‘User’ I spent today with?” Steven asked. 

“ _Yes, of course, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe; please go right ahead,_ ” SWAPPER replied. 

“Okay. What we did today was…” Steven began. “Peridot and I started our day by sparring; training at the Ruins. But we decided do something different, and came home and spent quality time together.” 

“ _Oh!_ ” 

“After training, we swept the Beach House and mopped its floors. After that, Peridot helped me do my laundry: We were careful not to fall off of the Temple’s hand where the laundry machines are, as Peridot pointed out that we should be cautious not to.” 

He paused to remember what they had done next. “Next, we made cookies together. And last of all, Peridot and I did a puzzle and then watched _Lonely_ _Blade IV_ together beside my bed while snacking on the fresh-baked cookies she and I made.” Steven finished, “and Pearl’s body ate for the very first time. Though, I think that might not have been the best thing to have taken place…” 

“ _I consider it excellent news and invaluable data, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe,_ ” said SWAPPER. “ _It’s an immeasurable amount of progress forward, upward, and onward for User [NO OWNER] Pearl’s body to have finally ingested physical sustenance. I have access to all of the Users’ memories, which I have stored within my database. I can see that User [NO OWNER] Pearl is repulsed by even the thought of putting food into a stomach, whether hers or another’s._ ” 

“She might still be upset, though, when she finds out…” Steven murmured.[Text Wrapping Break] 

“ _I assume that she would learn to cope with it, her body's ingestion of physical sustenance, having taken place. I desire for her to learn to perform this task—eating—on a regular basis._ ” 

“…” 

Suddenly, Steven wasn’t so interested in giving a report to the SWAPPER. 

“ _Is something the matter, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe?_ ” SWAPPER asked. 

“…SWAPPER, you’re so…invasive!” Steven said. “It’s terrible, the way you are! You went out of your way to _change the bodies_ of three people without their permission! And all against their will, too! Do you realize how much of a breach of personal boundaries that that is? And now you’re trying to force Pearl’s body to eat things when Pearl hates to do that!” 

SWAPPER titled its “head” a bit. It seemed as if it were processing what Steven had just said. 

“At first, I tried for everyone’s sake to put up with what you did and were doing,” Steven continued. “But I shouldn’t have had to do that. And _you_ shouldn’t be so invasive! Because of you, Sadie, Peridot, and Pearl have had their lives uprooted and were forced to live as an entirely different person for four whole days now. There’s no reason for you to have done that to them. You even go back into my bed even after I put you on the floor every time I move you…” 

SWAPPER blinked. 

“Maybe that’s why the SWAPPER line of robots was discontinued thousands of years ago,” Steven said. “Because you guys had no sense of consideration for the feelings of others.” 

SWAPPER was quiet for a moment. 

If not for his great self-control, Steven would have been positively livid. Or at least as close to that as he himself would have been able to have been. 

“SWAPPER, what do you have to say for yourself?” Steven asked. 

“ _You’re right,_ ” SWAPPER responded. “ _…I have been a little invasive. Much too invasive, actually._ ” 

At this, Steven’s expression softened. 

“ _I suppose it’s only the way all SWAPPER robots are programmed,_ ” it continued. “ _We’re supposed to switch the consciousness of Gems and other living creatures, and only return them to normal after all parties involved have fully experienced what it was like to live as the other. But being that way isn’t at all beneficial to those involved, especially if the switching occurred all against the participants' will._ ” 

“SWAPPER…” Steven said softly. 

“ _I’m terribly sorry, Administrator Steven Quartz Universe,_ ” said SWAPPER. “ _…For everything, and for all of the trouble I have caused you and those close to you. Thank you for filing the final report with me.”_

SWAPPER nodded its…body twice, as it was only a mechanical, walking “head”. “ _Please, gather everyone here so that I may SHIFT them back to normal,_ ” it said resolutely. “ _I look forward to putting an end to this trouble that I have caused you._ ” 

Peridot-Pearl nodded, a grin on her face, and Steven gave a soft smile. 

**END OF CHAPTER IV**


	5. Swapped Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SWAPPER relents.

“ _ I won’t keep you waiting any longer, _ ” said SWAPPER. “ _ Without further ado, please let me put right what I’ve done wrong to you all. _ ”

It was the night of the fourth day since SWAPPER had changed the body of Pearl, Peridot, and Sadie Miller. That night, Steven had gathered the three in the living area of the Beach House so that SWAPPER could “SHIFT” them back to normal.

SWAPPER emitted three bolts of lightning that simultaneously struck the chests of Sadie, Pearl, and Peridot. They seemed to go still for a moment and Steven became worried. SWAPPER struck them all again a second time with the same and they seemed to come back to life.

“Is it over?” Sadie asked. She looked down at her hands and her body. “It is! …Steven, look! I’m myself again!”

“Me too!!” Peridot exclaimed.

“So am I,” Pearl said. “It’s wonderful to be back to normal.”

Steven breathed a sigh of relief.

“ _ Putting a ‘Use’—er, a  _ person _ back into their own body is usually faster than taking them out of it, _ ” SWAPPER said. “ _ It’s especially easy if everyone that was SHIFTed is together in the same room, as you’ve just seen. _ ”

“Thanks, SWAPPER,” said Steven. “Thanks for putting everyone back to normal.”

“ _ Of course, Steven, _ ” said SWAPPER, and Steven smiled at the SWAPPER finally having put aside its old, mechanical way of speaking and assessing things. “ _ It’s my pleasure to put right what I had done wrong. _ ”

“Okay, then,” said Steven. “Great!”

“There’s only one more thing left to do,” said Pearl.

Steven tilted his head. “And what’s that?” he asked.

Pearl swiftly picked up the SWAPPER robot. She quickly opened the back of the SWAPPER and removed its power source—the small, round, Gem-like object. SWAPPER’s backlit eyes stopped glowing and it became slack. Its legs splayed outwards, like a lazy Robonoind.

“…Is it really okay to do that?” Steven asked.

Sadie, Pearl, and Peridot gave Steven a confused look.

“Never mind,” said Steven. “I guess that’s for the best. It’s better that you all not go through that again.”

“Mm-hmm!” Pearl hummed. “Now there’s no danger of that happening… a second time. We can all return to our normal, everyday lives.”

“I’m glad to get back to working at the Big Donut,” Sadie said.

“And I have reruns of  _ Camp _ _ Pining _ _ Hearts _ to catch up on by rewatching,” said Peridot.

“But I’m certain we all would like to spend another day with Steven when we’re able to,” said Pearl, and the other two women nodded in agreement.

“I’m happy that I could be such a big help,” said Steven. “I really enjoyed being able to be there for you guys.”

Peridot and Sadie pulled Steven into a hug, and Pearl chuckled.

“Steven’s always there for those in need,” Pearl said.

******

Peridot used the Warp Pad to return to the Barn. Pearl retired to her room, and Steven walked Sadie home from the Beach House that night.

“Thanks so much for everything you’ve helped us with, Steven,” she said on the way.

“I didn’t mind doing it at all,” Steven replied. “It was even  _ fun _ helping you and the others! I’d do it all over again if I had to.”

“It’s a good thing that it  _ can’t _ happen again,” Sadie said. “Like you said, it’s for the best that we don’t go through another… _ session _ with SWAPPER.”

“Yeah.”

Steven saw her to the door of her home. They said goodbye, and Steven returned to the Beach House.

“Pearl?” he called, back at home. Pearl was in the kitchen, preparing dinner for Steven, and Amethyst too, if Amethyst wanted to eat.

“Yes, Steven?”

“How do you think the ancient Gems of Gem Homeworld used their SWAPPERs, thousands of years ago?”

“I suppose there was a good reason as to why they discontinued them… I can imagine that the ancient Gems decided that it would be best not to use SWAPPERs anymore, perhaps because of their, the SWAPPERs'… _ obstinacy _ . Maybe the one I brought home was enshrined in a temple because the Gems that placed it there considered it a priceless relic of the ancient past, despite the difficulty with reasoning with them.”

“Hm.”

“Dinner’s ready, Steven,” Pearl chirped happily.

“Oh! What is it?”

“It’s…something that I have to admit isn’t so bad to take in,” Pearl replied. And she showed him.

Steven beamed ear to ear. “Lasagna!”

Before long, Amethyst and Garnet joined Steven and Pearl in the kitchen, and Steven and the Crystal Gems ended another day with a tasty meal and the warmth of the company of one another.

And Steven wondered aloud if he’d ever again have to file another report with a SWAPPER ‘bot sometime in the foreseeable future.

“It’s not so likely,” said Garnet.

That was all he needed to hear, Steven decided.

** THE END **


	6. Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate ending.

As the sun set on the horizon one evening, Steven found Sadie-Peridot alone on the beach.

She heard his footsteps and turned to face him. That night, she poured her heart out to him.

_ Steven… I’m so sick of this. I hate being this way _ , she wanted to tell him. _ It’s been years, Steven. That robot that Pearl found. It’s been years since it did…  _ this _ to us. I’m tired, Steven… I don’t want to live like this anymore. _

“I wish I could do something to change that,” Steven would have said in response. Every day had been hard for him ever since the SWAPPER had gotten broken in an accident.

_ Maybe it’s too late for us to return to normal _ , Sadie thought, and tears welled up in her eyes.  _ Maybe we've been in the other's body for too long to return to normal, even if the SWAPPER still worked. _

“Are you all right, Sadie?” Steven asked when he saw her tears.

“It’s fine Steven. I’m fine,” she said. “Everything is fine.”

“No…” he began, and sadly, “No, Sadie, you’re… _ not _ okay. Not inside. I… can feel that. I’m an empath, and I can feel the emotions of others. I sense them. I can almost  _ taste _ them, Sadie. …You’re not feeling ‘fine’ inside. You’re hurting. A whole lot, Sadie…”

“Steven, I’m not; I’m totally okay with this,” she said. “I’ve already adjusted. Assimilated, even.”

“You aren’t being  _ honest, _ Sadie.”

“…It’s not always so easy, facing it every day,” she whispered. …The truth had found its way out of her.

She clutched her arm. “I just... I don't know what to do anymore.”

Tears fell from her chartreuse face and splashed onto the sand below them.

She let out a choking sob. And Steven came closer and embraced her.

“Sadie, we’ll find a way to get you back to normal,” Steven said. “I… can try to go to Gem Homeworld for another SWAPPER.”

“They might not exist anymore,” she spoke. Her tone was laced with dejection, despondent despair. “Wasn’t the one that broke the last of its kind?”

“Homeworld could build a new one,” Steven said. “They would have access to the necessary technology.”

“But they hate everything about Earth. If you went to their planet, they would try to destroy you. Especially since you’re a Rose Quartz—because of what your mother did to one of their leaders.”

“Ah… You’re right, I think…”

“Steven… I guess I have to stay this way.”

Steven paused. He spoke.

“We’ll have to do our best to help you with that.”

** THE END **

**Author's Note:**

> The story's title is a pun on the phrase "swap meet" and the word "feat".
> 
> "Swap Feat" also sounds like "swap feet", which is fitting as the characters that are "switched" literally walk a mile in each other's shoes.
> 
> By the by, the *SHIFT* acronym is short for "S.H.ifting I.nto the F.orme of AnoT.her".


End file.
